Almost Twenty

1. You are in the Witness Protection Program and must invent a new first, last, and middle name. What is it? Myrna Louise Feinberg. And I’d have them move me to Brooklyn; I’d never be found.

2. You are in a threesome with two famous people, alive or dead.
Halle Berry and Viggo Mortensen

3. You are in charge of naming your new band. What's the name of the band?
Nomadic Nightmare

4. You are going to get a free tattoo. What would it be?
Perfect Eyebrows

5. You are being forced to listen to one song over and over, ad infinitum, as a form of torture. What song is it?
I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) by The Proclaimers

6. You are leaving your state/province. What state do you move to?
Tennessee

7. You are leaving your country, where would you move?
Italy

8. You get to spend one day each as a bird, an insect, and a mammal. What bird would you be? What insect? What mammal?
A bald eagle, so I can soar anywhere and be protected; a cockroach, so I would be able to survive world annihilation; and a lion, to be majestic with a nice mane of hair.

9. You must relive one year of your life. Which would you like to relive?
2002

10. Which year(s) would you least like to relive?
2001

11. You have a time machine that will take you backwards anywhere from 1800 to the present. What decade do you most want to visit?
The 1940’s. Love the glamour, the clothing, the men, the music.

12. You must choose to go skydiving or very-deep-sea diving.
Deep into the blue, baby!

13. You get to return to the past (using that handy dandy time machine we were talking about before) and have a sexual encounter with a rock star who is no longer alive. Who do you pick?
Elvis

14. You get to be a contestant on any game show, airing today or in the past. What show do you want to be on?
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire

15. You are given $1 million dollars but you must give it all to one charity. What charity do you choose?
United Negro College Fund

16. You must ban one word from the dictionary and all usage, to be no longer uttered or written. What word do you ban? I can’t think of a word, but the phrase I would ban is: “My bad.”

17. You can have 100 million dollars tax-free but if you take it, you'll die at the age of fifty. Do you take it?
Shit yeah. I would live a lifetime between now and my fiftieth birthday!

18. Out of all the places you’ve been, where is your least favorite?
Texas, hands down.

19. Would you rather be a child photographer for a living or have a toe cut off?
Bring on the hacksaw!!

20. There is no number twenty.