I lose hours on Instagram. Not all at once, but certainly over the course of days. Some days, it'll be an hour before I realize in deep in the rabbit hole. There's just SO MUCH stuff to look at, it's easy to get sucked in. Here are ten accounts I follow that are currently my favorites.
Liliya Rakh She is the Founder and Director of Sauvage Group, the largest fashion luxury chain in Kazakhstan. Yes, Kazakhstan. There's just something about her I like - her hair (which she really pulls off) is her most striking feature, but the fact that she's tall and slim really sets off the clothing she wears. I don't love all the looks she models, but I do like a lot of them.
Carlo and Sarah He's Italian, she's American. They're young. In love. Married now. They met at his family's beach club in Italy, a place she'd been going with her family for years because her Nonna lives in a nearby town. Her nonna and other family members had been friends with his family for years. He was a handsome Italian lifeguard. He learned English just to ask her on a date and even then, they used Google Translate to communicate. They were separated during the pandemic and eventually married in Italy, but without her family because of Covid. They're having a second wedding this year in the U.S. Here's a Q & A about them. They're in their early twenties and a great couple. I LOVE him. His accent, his Italian, his laugh, and how he is still learning English. They crack me up regularly.
Effin' Birds Speaking of birds - this is a different kind of bird account. I'm convinced its creator, Aaron Reynolds, and I, were separated at birth. He's effin' hilarious.
Travel and Leisure Nothing describes my likes better than travel and leisure. I like all the ideas I get from their posts and because of them, I am continually adding new locations to my "must visit" list.
Mühendis Tube Some of the coolest stuff I've seen online. I don't know how they get half of these videos, but I'm glad they do. It's awesome. The account is Turkish - Mühendis means Engineer.
Cats of Instagram Because I'm not allowed to have a cat. That makes me sad. This account makes me happy. This one is kind of great also.
My Texas House I love her decor - color palette and style. I want this house and everything in it. I just don't want it in Texas. The style of this house is a very close second. But again, don't love the location - I can barely handle the heat of Tucson, I'd never survive in blazing hot Buckeye, Arizona.
Mateo Zielonka Because I love pasta and hope to someday make more of it, I follow Mateo because as a chef, author of "The Pasta Man", and maker of drool-worthy (and Instagram-worthy) dishes, he inspires me and makes my eyes happy. You can find his website here.
I have many more Instagram sites that I love. I'll do another post in the future about them. In the meantime, check these out and let me know what you think.
I can't say 2016 has been my best year. Actually, I think I'd rank it as the worst year I've ever had. There was too much fighting, hurt feelings, family discord, no traveling, too much time spent in Arizona, not enough time over the road, and several other things. Just waaaaay more bullshit than I like to deal with. Not all of it was bad, of course, but I can say I hope to never have another year like it. And because of how crappy last year was, I'm going to work extra hard to make sure 2017 is markedly different. That said, let's get to the good stuff - my year-end meme.
1. What did you do in 2016 that you’d never done before?
2. Did you keep your New Year’s Resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any last year and I probably won't make any this year either. I think I'm giving up on the New Year's Resolution thing.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No. All of my friends are waaaay past baby birthin' age. Although, I saw on Facebook that a girl I went to high school with had a baby. At 49 years old!! WTF was she thinking??
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not really anyone close to me, but Ed's aunt passed away, my mother's good friend Pamela unexpectedly died before Thanksgiving, and then in the beginning of the month my mother's cat died. Other than those three, no one else I know was called home. But holy shit, who didn't die this year? David Bowie, Alan Rickman (loved him!), Abe Vigoda (Barney Miller, anyone?), author Harper Lee, Nancy Reagan, Garry Shandling, Christina Grimmie (one of my favorite American Idol contestants, gone, at 22 years old), Merle Haggard, Prince, Muhammad Ali, Elie Wiesel, Garry Marshall (amazing films!), Gene Wilder, Arnold Palmer (this I only took notice of because I once dated an avid golfer), Leonard Cohen, Florence Henderson (Carol Brady!), Alan Thicke, Zsa Zsa Gabor (Dahlink), George Freakin' Michael, and then Carrie Fisher AND her mother, Debbie Reynolds! What the fuck, 2016?? Yet the Short-Fingered Vulgarian is still with us. Life is cruel.
5. What countries did you visit? None. Sadly, I barely left Arizona.
6. What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016?
Less body aches, less aggravation within my family, more exclusive "me" time (manicures and pedicures, Heavenly Feet visits for foot massages, salon days, etc.), a hobby, vacations, time with my friend Vicki, a trip to New York, a trip to Canada, and although Ed will never go for it, I'd love to have a kitten.
7. What dates from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The day we bought our house. My birthday dinner - Ed surprised me with dinner and great gifts. The horrible presidential election season and its outcome. And the time we spent helping my mother officially moved into her new townhouse (lots of work, great result!).
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Buying a house and getting through my mother's townhouse renovation without having a mental breakdown. It was maddening. I can't even imagine what our renovation is going to be like. I'm going to need a vacation immediately following its completion.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not doing a damn thing to improve my health or lose weight. I totally and completely dropped the ball on my plan. In fact, I weighmore now than I did last year at this time, which is just total bullshit. I seriously don't know what the hell happened.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I was feeling a bit under the weather in the beginning of the year so I made chicken soup to help me out. And then, on December 31, 2015 (late enough in the day that I'm counting it as January 1, 2016) I injured my leg in the grocery store by walking full force into a display case. It took more than six months to heal and still doesn't look right. Two things. Not so bad.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I think everyone in America knows the answer to this. The president-elect. He has shown himself to be an absolutely disgusting human being. Actually, even using the word human is too good for him. I will hope for impeachment or some other reason to get him out of office, but if that doesn't happen, the next four years are going to suck politics-wise. What I find even more appalling and depressing are the people who supported him. I can't even fathom how a person can listen to the garbage he spewed and say to themselves, "That's my guy." Especially those who call themselves "Christians". I can't even. In the words of the orange buffoon....SAD.
14. Where did most of your money go?
New house, new car, new house-related items, retirement fund. Ed bought a pellet smoker, an air compressor, a table saw, and various other tools and items. I bought a few gifts, new sneakers, and those bras. The rest is being squirreled away into my I-don't-want-to-eat-catfood-when-I'm-old fund.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The DNC, for one. Winning an election, two. Obviously, the winning part didn't happen, even though - aside from Barack Obama's 2008 win - Hillary Clinton got more votes than any other U.S. presidential candidate in history. How do you get more votes and not win?? Damn the electoral college!
16. What song will always remind you of 2016?
"Rise Up" by Andra Day. It was the song used by Hillary Clinton's campaign, played at many of her rallies, and Andra Day performed it live at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia. I heard it a lot. It's a great song with an inspiring message.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
I think I'm a little sadder than last year, definitely fatter, and happily richer. Because you know, even when you're sad and fat, you can still make money.
In Arizona, at our house. I cooked for twelve of us. Ed made a delicious Santa Maria Tri-Tip on the grill, and I made mashed potatoes, brown-sugar-glazed carrots, and this cauliflower dish on the side. I also made another cheesecake - the first one, for Thanksgiving, was a huge hit, so I did it again. Everything was delicious.
21. Did you fall in love in 2016?
I fell in love with the cheesecake I made, that's for damn sure. I also fell in love with the gorgeous jewelry Ed gave me for Christmas. It's AMAZING.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Hands down, This Is Us. If you haven't seen it, you absolutely must. You'll have to watch it from the first episode, since it will be difficult to follow if you don't. And if I were you, I'd binge watch. Find it online, stream it, pay for it if you have to, and then hole up in the house or a hotel room or the sleeper of your big rig and enjoy. Totally worth your time.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Not really, but don't push me.
24. What was the best book you read?
I didn't read any books but I did finish listening to an audio book, so I guess that counts. It was called "The Long Way Home" by Louise Penny.
A new iPad. I've been dragging my feet on getting one because I'm not really sure I need it. I haven't been using the iPad I have very often so can't seem to justify buying a new one yet. I also wanted to lose weight, but I blew that as you've already read. I really don't think I have many real wants, so I'm not often disappointed. I want things like snowy vacations (didn't get that), trip to Europe (didn't get that), a new car, Ashley Graham's body. You know, things that don't just happen, or are flat out impossible to have on demand.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
This was my 49th year on earth. Ed, my mother, and my best friend conspired to surprise me with a dinner at Vivace, a surprise cake, and a balloon-laden apartment full of gifts. It was a great low-key way to spend the evening. Next year is fifty, folks. Ed better start planning from now. I have high expectations for my half-century birthday!
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If our house plans didn't turn into a fiasco. And if the architect finished the drawings for the renovation, which he couldn't do because of the house fiasco. Conundrum.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016?
Black. Pants, tops, shoes, purse. I can't seem to branch out from that color this year, although I did buy some new shoes and a couple of pairs of wide-legged pants that I love (and which aren't black). But I'm kind of getting into the black thing. It makes getting dressed a whole lot easier and my accessories go with everything. When I'm not wearing black, I seem to be in pajamas. It's gotten so bad, I wear them out.
32. What kept you sane?
My incredible ability to cope with anything, and my friend Kim. I get annoyed at things (like, almost everything), but I am able to weather most situations without falling apart. Even when others around me are falling apart. But there were many times this year when the only thing that got me through the drama, was venting. And Kim listened to every single word. I totally owe her.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I am completely enamored by the most amazing First Lady in my lifetime, Michelle Obama. Her speech at the Democratic National Convention, in support of Hillary Clinton, was incredible. Emotional. On point. She said what so many of us were thinking, and expressed how so many of us felt. It's been called the best speech by any first lady - ever. I agree. Then, a few months later she issued another powerful speech, this time rebuking a disgraceful pussy-grabbing man-child. It was remarkable. Everything she is, is remarkable. Beautiful, poised, intelligent, funny, empathetic, entertaining, authentic. She's the real deal. I look forward to her last speech as First Lady. It's sure to be emotional. She will most certainly go down as one of the best First Ladies in history. She's truly beloved and deserves every ounce of admiration and praise that's been heaped upon her. I'm sad to see her go. And I don't look forward to what's ahead for the next four years. But we'll have to remember what the Obama Family motto is - "When they go low, we go high." Although I'm not sure I'll be able to be as charitable as she's been with that.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Immigration. I'm so tired of hearing about "that fucking wall". And I'm disgusted with all of the people who disguise their hatred for immigrants as patriotism. These people don't give a shit about keeping our country safe, they just want a way to keep Mexicans, refugees, or Muslims out because of who those people are, what they look like, and where they come from. I'm pretty sure if we had a rush of blond female beach volleyball players from foreign countries crossing our borders, not one male GOP supporter would give a shit. What many people seem to forget is that forty percent of undocumented workers in this country didn't sneak over the border to "take our jobs". They arrived legally, by plane, and then just never left. Tell me exactly how a wall is going to fix that? Does the orange wonder plan to build one high enough to stop aircraft?
35. Who did you miss?
It's not who I missed this year, but what I missed. Since we've been working two-and-a-half days a week on a dedicated run, we haven't been all over the country in our usual over-the-road fashion. And I miss it. I miss seeing different states, being in different weather, meeting up with friends in different places. It's a trade-off, for sure, and being home does have benefits, but I miss the real trucking lifestyle.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Can you believe I didn't meet any new people this year? Ed's right - we need to get out more often.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016.
Don't work with family. Don't tell anyone how much you make. Don't tip your hand.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. This is from one of my favorite songs, called "Breathe (2 AM)" by Anna Nalick:
'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And my slogan for the New Year...SURVIVAL THROUGH SERENITY! Last year's slogan - BLISS - was a complete bust. So this year it's going to be all about just getting through. Surviving whatever comes my way and trying to do it serenely.
It's been a while since I've done a meme. My friend recently tagged me in this one on Facebook, so I present to you:
44 Odd Things About Me 1. Do you like blue cheese? Yes. The chunkier, the better!
2. Have you ever smoked? No. Smoking is disgusting.
3. Do you own a gun? Absolutely not.
4. What is your favorite flavor? Lemon.
5. Do you get nervous before Doctor visits? Not at all.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? I'm occasionally in the mood for one, but my favorite are Sabrett and they're hard to come by unless you're in New York.
7. Favorite Movie? Dirty Dancing.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? It usually depends on where I am, but if I'm home I like to have a hot cup of what I call "coffee drink".
9. Do you do push ups? I don't think I've ever done a push up.
10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? The sterling silver earrings Ed bought me.
11. What's your favorite hobby? Reading, I guess.
12. Do you have A.D.D.? No, absolutely not.
13. What’s the one thing you dislike about yourself? I interrupt a lot. 14. What is your middle name? I don't have one.
15. Name three thoughts at this moment. What's is my favorite hobby? What am I going to do tomorrow? I really need to make time to read those two books I just ordered.
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Seltzer, Diet Coke, Chocolate Milk.
17. Have you ever had braces? Yes.
18. Current annoyance right now? That I have to fold laundry.
19. Favorite place to be? Upstate New York.
20. How do you ring in the new year? At home, watching TV.
21. Where would you like to go? Eastern Europe.
22. Name three people who will complete this? I'm not tagging anyone, but if you'd like to cut and paste this and leave your responses in the comments section, please feel free!
23. Do you own slippers? YEPPERS No. I usually wear white Havaiana flip-flops in the house.
24. What color shirt are you wearing right now? Pink.
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No. I hate slippery sheets.
26. Can you whistle? Yes.
27. What are your favorite colors? It really depends what it is. For clothes, I like black, white, navy, gray, fuschia. For a car, I like black or champagne beige. For a house, white. For furniture and decor, neutral tones with a pop of teal. But if I had to pick one color only, it'd be black.
28. Would you be a pirate? No.
29. What songs do you sing in the shower? I don't sing in the shower, but I do sing while driving and usually they're show tunes, or songs by Barbra Streisand and Frank Sinatra.
30. Favorite girls name? Luciana.
31. Favorite boys name? Luke.
32. What’s in your pocket right now? I don't have pockets. I'm wearing pajamas.
33. Last thing that made you laugh? My friend Kim.
34. Best toy as a child? Barbie dolls.
35. Worst injury you ever had? Broken collarbone I got when I was in a school bus accident on the second day of school.
Saguaro National Monument at Gate's Pass in Tucson, Arizona
The year has come to a close, which means it's time to tackle the Year-End Meme. I found this one to be a little harder this year and had to really reach for a few answers. Some things didn't change (like my truck "wardrobe"), but I'm hoping the rest is semi-entertaining.
Wherever you may be in the world, I hope you've had a good year and I wish you an even better 2016! Thank you for your readership, your comments, your emails, etc. It's nice to know the things I write about and photograph make some people happy.
See you on the road in 2016! Here we go...
1. What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before?
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any last year and I haven't decided yet about this year.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes! My cousin Michelle gave birth in November to the most gorgeous little boy ever!
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. My old friend Greg died suddenly and unexpectedly. I am still finding it hard to believe he's gone. We drifted apart over the years but he's part of so many of my memories, he will never be forgotten.
And another person (not close to us but who was one of our favorite agents) - Shirley Anhalt - died the week before Christmas. Ed's been working with her for over 14 years and we did a regular run for her four times a year which took us to Newport, Rhode Island, one of our favorite places. She should be an example to all agents - she truly cared about who we were and what we do for a living. She was fair and always on our side. And she always remembered who we were when we called her office - she knew our names and even our voices, often saying "How you doing, Ed?" before he even identified himself. She will be missed.
5. What countries did you visit?
Mexico, Guatemala, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Panama, and Colombia.
6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
More time with my best friend Vicki. I'd love for us to do a week-long vacation somewhere. I keep wishing for it but it just doesn't pan out as I'd like. It's definitely on my to-do list, I just hope I can make it happen this year.
7. What dates from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Our friends coming for Christmas and then staying into the new year. Definitely the time on our cruise. I loved Hawaii, but was also very intrigued by Antigua, Guatemala and Cartagena, Columbia. I'd go back to both place for sure. My Twitter spat with a major trucking company because their training program for new drivers puts all our lives in danger. Our impromptu dinner party, trucker style. Our four-wheeling adventure in Moab.
Allowing a wedge to come between me and someone I love.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No actual illnesses or injuries.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
This jacket for the snow vacation that we haven't gone on yet.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
The Supreme Court for their ruling in favor of same-sex marriage rights nationwide. I have a lot of very happy friends because of this!
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Oh, this one is easy. Donald Trump, hands down. Not depressing, just appalling. Not out of character for him, but appalling for a human being.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Well, other than regular expenses, I suppose we spent most of our other money this year on vacation clothing, accessories, a new iPhone, and food.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Again, I don't get three "really exciteds" about anything, but let's see...what makes me super happy? Well, one simple answer is my mother's cat Maezy. She's super cute and just begs for smooches. And I get excited about delicious food - like this, and this, and this, and this.
16. What song will always remind you of 2015?
"Unsteady" by X Ambassadors. I was turned on to it by one of my readers and I've been listening to it and singing it since. Every once in a while I just blurt out the opening of the song, "Hooooold. Hold on. Hold on to me."
17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?
I'm at about the same level of happiness, 12 pounds lighter (my earrings are loose), and due to Ed's meticulous planning and investing, I have a bit more in my piggy bank.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Swimming and water activities. Even though we went on the cruise, we really didn't have a lot of ocean time. We went snorkeling only once, and the rest of the year didn't have any opportunities to hit a pool or the ocean.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Eating.
20. How did you spend Christmas?
At home in Arizona, with my mother, brother, sister-in-law, and three nephews. It was low-key, relaxing, and fun. And we kept the menu very simple - Chicken with a White Wine Lemon Butter Herb sauce, Roasted Green Beans, and Oven Roasted Rosemary Potatoes for dinner and then coffee with several homemade treats for dessert.
21. Did you fall in love in 2015?
Since I'm in a long-term relationship, I never fall in love with anyone new. My Eddie is the only guy for me. And although I've answered this in the past with other things I've fallen in love with, I can't think of anything at the moment.
22. What was your favorite TV program?
Still into Nashville, Scandal, Grey's, and the last season ofDownton Abbey. My new favorites are I Love Kellie Pickler and Married at First Sight.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nope.
24. What was the best book you read?
I didn't read one book this year. Magazines, newspapers, articles online, yes. But not one book.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I think I had a pretty satisfying year, but I think I would have liked to read more books. Next year.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?
Same answer as last year: When you spend a majority of your day on the road, "fashion" becomes less important as time marches on. In the truck, I like comfort, so yoga pants and tank tops or t-shirts. When we go out to dinner, or shopping, or visiting, I have some easy flowy tops and capri pants with little leather ballerinas - black and silver are my staples.
32. What kept you sane?
Carrot dogs. No, I'm kidding, I haven't even tried them. But I'm going to in 2016! I guess since I spend all my time with Ed, he has to be credited for me keeping my sanity. Sometimes he's the one who drives me insane, but he always pulls me back!
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I think this year it would have to be Jon Stewart. I've always been a fan but this year he was in the press a little more than normal because of his show ending. Watching the last episode was a little on the sad side.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Guns. Oh. My. God. Enough with the guns already. I'm really tired of hearing about people dying every single day from gun violence.
35. Who did you miss?
I've kinda been missing my grandparents, on both sides. I've become more interested in the ancestry of our family over the years and I wish they were around to ask questions of.
36. Who was the best new person you met?
Jonathan and Brooke East. Jonathan East and Brooke Cenicola East were performers in the shows on our cruise ship. We were able to spend some personal time with them and really loved the two of them. They were down to earth, easy-going, and extremely talented. They met at Dollywood in Sevierville, TN and after Jonathan's relentless pursuit, Brooke eventually agreed to a date, which ultimately led to their marriage. What a fantastic couple! On the same cruise, we met and spent a lot of time with Stephen Crome, the owner of Laguna Tattoo. He was a definitely plus to our nightly dining experience.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.
That's it's finally time to start paying attention to my health. I've always been incredibly lucky when it comes to health. No ailments, no issues, no lactose-intolerance, no gluten problems, no migraines, nothing. And as a 48-year-old non-exercising fat chick, I've always been proud of the fact that I've had perfect blood pressure, low cholesterol, normal blood sugar, good eyes, good hearing (although both of those are feeling strained lately), and that I take no medication other than Tylenol for the occasional headache. But a few months ago I had a swollen foot issue that kinda wigged me out. It turned out to be nothing, which the doctor later confirmed, but it did gave me pause. I realized that I really need to pay more attention to what I'm eating and must incorporate some sort of exercise into my life. I will be trying hard to work on both of those things in 2016, because without good health, pretty much everything else is going to suck.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Since this is the year Frank Sinatra would have been 100 years old, I will sum up my year with his lyrics...
I love questions like these, ones that make you think. Here's the original link from Oprah.com.
1. What questions should I be asking myself?
At first I thought asking yourself what you should be asking yourself was
redundant. It isn't. Without this question, you wouldn't ask any others, so it
gets top billing. It creates an alert, thoughtful mind state, ideal for
ferreting out the information you most need in every situation. Ask it
frequently.
2. Is this what I want to be doing?
This very moment is, always, the only moment in which you can make changes.
Knowing which changes are best for you comes, always, from assessing what you
feel. Ask yourself many times every day if you like what you're doing. If the
answer is no, start noticing what you'd prefer. Thus begins the revolution.
3. Why worry?
These two words, considered sincerely,
can radically reconfigure the landscape of your mind. Worry rarely leads to
positive action; it's just painful, useless fear about hypothetical events,
which scuttles happiness rather than ensuring it. Some psychologists say that
by focusing on gratitude, we can shut down the part of the brain that worries.
It actually works!
4. Why do I like {cupcakes} more than I
like {people}?
Feel free to switch out the words in brackets: You may like TV more than
exercise, or bad boys more than nice guys, or burglary more than reading.
Whatever the particulars, every woman has something she likes more than the
somethings she's supposed to like. But forcing "virtues"—trying to
like people more than cupcakes—drives us to vices that offer false freedom from
oppression. Stop trying to like the things you don't like, and many vices will
disappear on their own.
5. How do I want the world to be
different because I lived in it?
Your existence is already a factor in
world history—now, what sort of factor do you want it to be? Maybe you know
you're here to create worldwide prosperity, a beautiful family, or one really
excellent bagel. If your impressions are more vague, keep asking this question.
Eventually you'll glimpse clearer outlines of your destiny. Live by design, not
by accident.
6. How do I want to
be different because I lived in this world?
In small ways or large, your life will change the world—and in small ways or
large, the world will change you. What experiences do you want to have during
your brief sojourn here? Make a list. Make a vision board. Make a promise. This
won't control your future, but it will shape it.
7. Are {vegans}
better people?
Again, it doesn't have to be vegans; the brackets are for you to fill in.
Substitute the virtue squad that makes you feel worst about yourself, the one
you'll never have the discipline to join, whether it's ultra-marathoners or
mothers who never raise their voices. Whatever group you're asking about, the
answer to this question is no.
8. What is my body
telling me?
As I often say, my mind is a two-bit whore—by which I mean that my
self-justifying brain, like any self-justifying brain, will happily absorb
beliefs based on biases, ego gratification, magical thinking or just plain
error. The body knows better. It's a wise, capable creature. It recoils from
what's bad for us, and leans into what's good. Let it.
9. How much junk could a chic chick
chuck if a chic chick could chuck junk?
I believe this question was originally posed by Lao Tzu, who also wrote,
"To become learned, each day add something. To become enlightened, each
day drop something." Face it: You'd be better off without some of your
relationships, many of your possessions, and most of your thoughts. Chuck your
chic-chick junk, chic chick. Enlightenment awaits.
10. What’s so funny?
Adults tend to put this question to children in a homicidal-sounding snarl,
which is probably why as you grew up, your laughter rate dropped from 400 times
a day (for toddlers) to the grown-up daily average of 15. Regain your youth by
laughing at every possible situation. Then, please, tell us what's funny—about
everyday life, about human nature, even about pain and fear. We'll pay you
anything.
11. Where am I wrong?
This might well be the most powerful question on our list—as Socrates believed,
we gain our first measure of intelligence when we first admit our own
ignorance. Your ego wants you to avoid noticing where you may have bad
information or unworkable ideas. But you'll gain far more capability and
respect by asking where you're wrong than by insisting you're right.
12. What potential
memories am I bartering, and is the profit worth the price?
I once read a story about a world where people sold memories the way we can
sell plasma. The protagonist was an addict who'd pawned many memories for drugs
but had sworn never to sell his memory of falling in love. His addiction won.
Afterward he was unaware of his loss, lacking the memory he'd sold. But for the
reader, the trade-off was ghastly to contemplate. Every time you choose social
acceptance over your heart's desires, or financial gain over ethics, or your
comfort zone over the adventure you were born to experience, you're making a
similar deal. Don't.
13. Am I the only one struggling not to
{fart} during {yoga}?
I felt profoundly liberated when this issue was raised on Saturday
Night Live's "Weekend Update." Not everyone does yoga, but SNL reminded
me that everyone dreads committing some sort of gaffe. Substitute your greatest
shame-fear: crying at work, belching in church, throwing up on the prime
minister of Japan. Then know you aren't alone. Everyone worries about such faux
pas, and many have committed them (well, maybe not the throwing up on PMs).
Accepting this is a bold step toward mental health and a just society.
14. What do I love to practice?
Some psychologists believe that no one is born with any particular talent and
that all skill is gained through practice. Studies have shown that masters are
simply people who've practiced a skill intensely for 10,000 hours or more. That
requires loving—not liking,loving—what you do. If you really want to
excel, go where you're passionate enough to practice.
15. Where could I
work less and achieve more?
To maximize time spent practicing your passions, minimize everything else.
These days you can find machines or human helpers to assist with almost
anything. Author Timothy Ferriss "batches" job tasks into his famous
"four-hour workweek." My client Cindy has an e-mail ghostwriter.
Another client, Angela, hired an assistant in the Philippines who flawlessly
tracks her schedule and her investments. Get creative with available resources
to find more time in your life and life in your time.
16. How can I keep myself absolutely
safe?
Ask this question just to remind yourself of the answer: You can't. Life is
inherently uncertain. The way to cope with that reality is not to control and
avoid your way into a rigid little demi-life, but to develop courage. Doing
what you long to do, despite fear, will accomplish this.
17. Where should I break the rules?
If everyone kept all the rules, we'd still be practicing cherished traditions
like child marriage, slavery and public hangings. The way humans become humane
is by assessing from the heart, rather than the rule book, where the justice of
a situation lies. Sometimes you have to break the rules around you to keep the
rules within you.
18. So say I lived in that fabulous
house in Tuscany, with untold wealth, a gorgeous, adoring mate, and a full
staff of servants…then what?
We can get so obsessed with acquiring fabulous lives that we forget to live.
When my clients ask themselves this question, they almost always discover that
their "perfect life" pastimes are already available. Sharing joy with
loved ones, spending time in nature, finding inner peace, writing your novel,
plotting revenge—you can do all these things right now. Begin!
19. Are my thoughts
hurting or healing?
Your situation may endanger your life and limbs, but only your thoughts can
endanger your happiness. Telling yourself a miserable mental story about your
circumstances creates suffering. Telling yourself a more positive and grateful
story, studies show, increases happiness. Wherever you are, whatever you're
doing, choose thoughts that knit your heart together, rather than tear it
apart.
20. Really truly: Is this what I want to be doing?
It's been several seconds since you asked this. Ask it again. Not to make
yourself petulant or frustrated—just to see if it's possible to choose
anything, and I mean any little thing, that would make your present experience
more delightful. Thus continues the revolution.
