Not A Knock Knock Joke

We've spent the last four days in a hotel, waiting for cruise day. I've been shopping like a crazed, stressed out Christmas shopper, hitting every store in town for stuff I need to take on the cruise. Since we had planned to be back home at the end of the month, I didn't bring my usual four seasons of wardrobe with me. I only took a few weeks' worth of cold weather stuff, anticipating being up north until our return home.

I got a little bit of everything; bathing suits, cover-up, flip-flops, shorts, white capri pants, denim capri pants, tank tops, short sleeve tops, skirts, a dress, walking shoes, tote bags, suntan lotion, pedicure, manicure, floppy hat, new magazines, music for the iPod, lipgloss, Dramamine...anything you can think of, I probably bought. I was exhausted. My legs felt like I had been on the treadmill for days. I barely ate or slept. I just shopped.

Did I happen to mention that I hate shopping? Even on the best day? I'm an in and out shopper. I don't meander and I don't go to the mall just for the sake of going. I get hot just thinking about dressing rooms and I hate trying on clothes. I'd rather buy all the stuff I want, take it with me and try it on in whatever icy air conditioned surroundings I may be in and then take back whatever I don't want. It's worth the two trips for that.

Also, if you've been paying attention here at the blog, you'll know that I'm one of them good 'ol full figured gals....PHAT, as Mo'Nique likes to say. This in itself presents a problem, as my choices for shopping are a little more limited. Add to that fact that I wear a size twelve shoe and you can imagine the frustration and trauma at having to do everything last minute!

So after the marathon scavenger hunt was over, I had basically everything I needed, which included three bathing suits if you can believe it! I had it all laid out on the hotel room bed, sorting and packing as I went along. This meant going back and forth from the truck to the room with this and that as I decided what to take and what not to.

On one of my trips back to the room, I got to the door, arms full of stuff, and knocked.

Nothing.

I knocked again. After a minute, I heard shuffling and finally Ed opened the door.

His first words?

"Don't you have a key?"

WTF? Was he not here for the whole four day shopping ordeal? Does he not know I'm hot and irritated? Has he heard the muttering under my breath as I was packing?

And if I had an mother-effing key, would I be knocking on the door???