Encased In Plastic

Because I am a nut about dirt/mud/dust/etc. in the sleeper, Eddie came up with a solution even I hadn't thought of. I told him he was going to have to take off his shoes outside but then he said, "What if I wear plastic bags?"

GREAT idea! So that's what he did. He was the only guy on the jobsite with plastic booties and a happy girlfriend.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
1 YEAR AGO: No Lifeguard On Duty
2 YEARS AGO: Palm Sketches
3 YEARS AGO: You Know Who You Are
4 YEARS AGO: I Fear The Family

Ed Unloads An Oil Platform

Ed takes the straps off our load of oil rig platforms. One of the rare times we've actually loaded and unloaded on a weekend.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
1 YEAR AGO: You Never Know When You Might Need It
2 YEARS AGO: Eddie Climbs A Wall Friday
3 YEARS AGO: What Showing Offyou’re your Kids Looks Like
4 YEARS AGO: What’s It All About?

Oh, Mother!

About a week ago, I ran into a girl I hadn't seen in 13 years. I was buying perfume for my mother and went into a local department store. We used to work together in cosmetics at this very store, I at Estee Lauder, she at Clinique. I was surprised to see her but it was a good surprise. She's a great woman. Always smiling, always in a good mood and always letting out her great laugh. She hadn't changed a bit.

I said to her, "I heard you had a baby..." and she said, "My baby is now twelve." Oh. Well, it had been a long time, I couldn't possibly have known. She caught me up on what all the girls we used to work with were doing and who she still kept in touch with. I was telling her all about Eddie, my nephews and Mommy.

"Mommy??" she said, laughing.

"Yeah, Mommy." I always call my mother "Mommy", especially when talking to friends.

I guess a lot of people might think it's odd, since I'm forty-two, but what should I call her? "Mom" seems so sixteen-year-old boy, "Ma" so unfinished and "Mother" so uptight, formal and cold. I used to know a girl who called her mother, "Mother".

She was from the South, so I suppose that's normal down there, but every time I heard her talk of or to her mother, "Mother bought me the most fabulous couch this week." or "Mother. I told you I'd pick up Daddy this afternoon, so don't you worry." it always sounded so disconected and like she didn't even really like her all that much. Like she was talking about a stranger. Or to a stranger. It's just weird.

Calling my mother mother, would be like calling her Helga. It doesn't fit her, it's not warm and loving and it's like calling her by a stranger's name. "Mommy" is just so loving and sweet and encompasses all that a child really feels about their mother...even when pushed to the edge of annoyance by said mother.

I will always call my mother Mommy, no matter how old I get. Besides, like my step-father says, "Mother is only half a word."


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
1 YEAR AGO: Eddie Adds Culture To His Day Friday
2 YEARS AGO: One Armed Bandit
3 YEARS AGO: 614
4 YEARS AGO: Having A Good Reason

Eddie Dials Up The Lunch Order Friday

Eddie orders us lunch at the One Man Band Diner in Ogden, Utah.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
1 YEAR AGO: Trucking Superhero And Sidekick
2 YEARS AGO: I’m Just A Goy In Love With A Boy
3 YEARS AGO: When Pork Goes Pornographic
4 YEARS AGO: Now Where Did I Put Those Underwear??

I Like To Call Him The Kite Master

I was talking to my mother today about all the stuff Ed was doing to the truck and about the new surveillance cameras he bought.

She said, "Wow. What made him think of that?"

"Well, he wants to have cameras on the front, sides and rear of the truck. So in the event something happens, it can all be recorded with a DVR." I said.

"DVR?"

"Digital Video Recorder. He's even thinking he might set it up on the internet, so people can log in and watch us in real time as we travel around the country."

"Boy, he's amazing. He's really good with all that electricity stuff." she said.

"Yeah," I said, laughing. "He's a regular Benjamin Franklin."

"What?"

"Benjamin Franklin. You know, the guy who supposedly discovered electricity." I said.

"Oh. I thought you said Benjamin Button and was thinking, Benjamin Button? but figured I heard you wrong."

Wrong is right. I'd rather be dating some balding guy with tiny wire rimmed glasses who has a penchant for flying kites in thunderstorms than a guy who is progressively getting younger and may reach the point where I have to start changing his diapers.

Yeah, that's not gonna happen.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
1 YEAR AGO: Talk About Making Good Use Of Your Time
2 YEARS AGO: Don’t Three Feet Equal One Yard?
3 YEARS AGO: New And Improved!
4 YEARS AGO: Maybe I Don’t Need To Know Everything

Dedicated

I'm dedicating this song, The Climb, by Miley Cyrus to someone close to me who is in a transitional place in their life. Just remember...

I love you. I'm here for you. You have my support.

And I believe in you 100%.

Scobblehead.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
1 YEAR AGO: I’ll Get To It As Soon As I’m Done Churning The Butter, Dear.
2 YEARS AGO: Trees At Sunset
3 YEARS AGO: Giving Directions To This Place Is Easy
4 YEARS AGO: A Cloud Of Words

Don't Lose The Fun

"Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way."
~ Dr. Seuss

How could anyone get through childhood without a fun, fantastical story from Dr. Seuss? His fun, simple, rhyming phrases always bring a smile to my face. He embraces the child that so many people lose. Growing up doesn't mean losing the fun. Take today to remember what you loved and who you were when you were young and carefree.

And remember what Dr. Seuss said...

"There is no one alive who is youer than you."


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
1 YEAR AGO: Snagged
2 YEARS AGO: The Writing Is On The Wall
3 YEARS AGO: Eddie Waits For A Ride
4 YEARS AGO: Truckers And Travelers Know Good Food

Just How I Like It...Cold And Colder

As we travel from hot to cold, hot to cold, I thought it would be an appropriate time to dig up another Original Palm Sketch by Salena.

Why post an actual picture of us when I can give you this - a drawing of exactly what we look like as we traverse the highways and bi-ways of this nation. (OK, maybe it's not so exact since we're both super skinny here, but really, have you ever seen a fat stick figure??)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
1 YEAR AGO: The Hags Hit The Big Time
2 YEARS AGO: One Thing At A Time
3 YEARS AGO: Snaking Across Broadway
4 YEARS AGO: Pssst! Wanna Buy A Hot Dog Truck?

Do It For Half An Hour A Day

"There is no use in trying," said Alice, "one can't believe impossible things."

"I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

~ Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures In Wonderland


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1 YEAR AGO: Sipping In Nyack
2 YEARS AGO: The Tink Tink Tinkle Of Recycling
3 YEARS AGO: Ralph’s Service Station
4 YEARS AGO: The Isle Of Capri

Loaded

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
1 YEAR AGO: C’mon, Just Do It Already!
2 YEARS AGO: Counterproductive
3 YEARS AGO: If You Need A Reason To Cook More Often, I Think I Have One
4 YEARS AGO: Warning: May Contain Traces Of Nuts

Ask A Trucker

This is a truck driver meme dedicated to subjects that affect us drivers on the road. I would love if some of the other drivers who read my blog would also participate. Either put your answers in comments or better yet, do a post on your own blog and let me know when it's posted, so we can all stop by to read it!

1. What is your favorite Interstate to travel?
I love I-95. It goes through my favorite parts of the country, the Northeast and the Southeast. It's either lush green, full of flaming fall colors or blanketed in snow most of the way.

2. Pilot, T/A, Flying J or Love's?
Pilot; cleanest bathrooms and best selection of coffee and snacks.

3. If you had to travel cross-country (East-West or West-East) would you prefer to take the Northern Route (I-80 or I-90) or the Southern Route (I-10 or I-40)?
Definitely the Northern Route - any time of year!

4. When driving, do you prefer to see the sunrise or the sunset?
Sunrise. The sunsets are okay, but I like the way the sky becomes alive with glow first thing in the morning.

5. Favorite state to drive through?
West Virginia

6. Least favorite state to drive through?
Texas

7. What do you think is the most truck friendly state?
There are lots of them, especially in the South and I think that's because twenty percent of the trucking companies are located there.

8. What do you think is the least truck friendly state?
California. No parking, too many regulations, strict DOT.

9. What is your favorite town to layover in?
New York City. No parking, but if you're lucky to find a spot close enough to a place where you can catch public transportation, it's great. I also love Shipshewana, IN.

10. Las Vegas, Reno or Atlantic City?
Las Vegas.

11. Atlantic Coast or Pacific Coast?
I think the Pacific Coast drive is more scenic as you are able to get a lot closer to the water in a lot more places.

12. Favorite type of freight to haul?
Containers. Easy, no tarp, takes no time at all to load or unload. Although, the ports are always a nightmare.

13. Favorite company/industry to haul for?
We like to haul stuff for the military. It's usually lightweight, pays well and goes to interesting locations.

14. Most annoying traffic related gripe regarding truck drivers?
I don't like when I see truck drivers tailgating cars and I don't like when the don't use their turn signals.

15. Most annoying traffic related gripe regarding four wheelers?
I think there may just be too many to list. Cutting in front of me to get off an exit, not allowing me to change lanes when I've had my turn signal on for a half a mile, pulling around me to get in front of me only to go slower, pulling in front of me and tapping their brakes as if to scare me, riding so close to my ass I can't see their vehicle (only the glow if their headlights), pulling out from behind me on an entrance ramp (not patient enough to wait for us to get up to speed and merge) and the worst offenders...those who pass on the shoulder.

16. Do you drive solo or as part of a team?
Team - me and Eddie!

17. What kind of truck do you have and what color is it?
It's a Freightliner Coronado and it's black metallic

18. How many gears does it have?
Thirteen

19. Does your truck have a name?
No, our truck doesn't have a name but GiGi’s does!

20. Do any pets travel with you? If so, what kind and what are their names?
No, we don't have any pets, but we sure have room for one.

21. What is your favorite drive in the entire country?
My favorite route to drive in all the country is I-81 from north to south. It starts in Scranton, PA and goes through a little piece of Maryland, a little piece of West Virginia, a nice chunk of Virginia and then finally into Tennessee. In Knoxville it turns into I-40, which goes West across the state, ending in Memphis. I-40 continues at this point, and although I like Arkansas, I'd be happy to end it right there in Tennessee.

22. What state do you currently live in and were you born and raised in that state?
I currently live in Arizona, but I was born and raised in New York.

23. What kind of trailer do you pull?
We have a 48' aluminum flatbed trailer.

24. What is your favorite truck stop?
I love going to the Iowa 80 because they have so much to look at, R Place in Morris, IL and I'm a big fan of Little America in Flagstaff and the two in Wyoming.

25. What jobs did you do before you became a truck driver?
Waitress, Secretary, Front Desk Clerk at a resort hotel, Concierge, Operator for the deaf, American Airlines reservations agent...

26. Have you ever been to Canada and if so, which is your favorite Province/Territory? Why?
I've been to 11 of the 13 Canadian Provinces/Territories and I think I'd have to say my favorite one is Ontario. It's beautiful, there are so many lakes, the landscape is beautiful, it's got a great cities (Toronto, Ottawa, Niagara-on-the-lake), lots of snow and the BEST of Niagara Falls (The Horseshoe Falls)!

27. What type of weather do you dislike driving in?
I don't like driving in rain at night (I don't mind it during the day) but the absolute worst has got to be fog. Scares the Bejesus out of me.

28. What do you listen to while driving? Type of music, talk shows, etc.
I either listen to music on my iPod (a mix to numerous to list) and talk shows; I flip between CNN, CNN Headline News, NPR and my new favorite, Doctor Radio.

29. Who is your favorite talk show host?
Thom Hartmann of "The Thom Hartmann Show" and Tom & Ray Magliozzi of Car Talk.

30. What is your CB handle?
I don't have one.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
1 YEAR AGO: Getting Our Truck Tweaked While Making New Friends And Enjoying A Free Lunch Pie*
2 YEARS AGO: Sunglasses Also Required Here
3 YEARS AGO: Windows Vista, Trucker Style
4 YEARS AGO: Being A Girl Again

Why Play Fantasy Football When You Can Spend Your Time Making Lists For The Halle Experiment?

My friend Charlie e-mailed this week and brought up a topic that I've spent many hours discussing with my friends; the fantasty boyfriend. (Or girlfriend, in his case)

Apparenly, he and his buddy have a running argument they call "The Halle Berry Experiment". His friend determined that if your long term fantasy girl becomes available, your marriage vows should be temporarily suspended. His friend's wife naturally disagrees. Charlie said the conversation came up because they saw Halle at LAX and decided she was the hottest 42 year old mother ever seen in a sweatsuit without makeup. I emailed him back to tell him that I too, saw Halle Berry in Los Angeles; about ten years ago when I worked for The Century Plaza Hotel.

I was at the Century City Shopping when I saw a woman that stopped me dead in my tracks; I think my mouth even might have dropped open a little. It took a few seconds for it to register, but all of a sudden it hit me. Oh my God! That's Halle Berry! I didn't want her to see me gawking, so I quickly turned but circled back around for another look. She was shoe shopping with a friend, looking through the window of the shop before going in; I then waited just outside for her to come back out so I could see her again. Another time, I saw her at an intersection on Santa Monica Boulevard while I was waiting for the light to change. It was near my apartment in West Hollywood and all I could think was, Halle Berry lives in my neighborhood! (OK, not my neighborhood, but close) And if Charlie and his buddy thing Halle is hot now, at 42 years old, they should have seen her then. Oh. My. GOD.

OK, so enough about my star sighting, on to Charlie's friend's rules regarding the meeting of their fantasy woman:

1. You must declare you fantasy interest at least one year in advance.

2. It cannot be anyone you know or who you are likely to meet (like the hot neighbor).

3. Your fling can last no more than 72 hours, at which point you go back to your spouse or leave to be with your fantasy forever.

4. If you leave forever, your spouse will be understanding and encouraging.

5. You can invoke the rule no more than once per five year period.

Then he mentioned that his friend is also the man who said to his wife, "I'm a man. My job is to get in her panties. You're my wife. Your job is to stop me". Then he told Charlie, "If some guy offers you a $1M indecent proposal, take it! Get cash up front before he realizes you have $300 stuff."

I read this email to Ed and afterwards told him, "Baby...if anyone offers you a million dollars to have sex with me, I give you permission to take it. And you shouldn't feel guilty or think about me having sex with another guy. Think about the million dollars."

He said, "Have you seen Salena for a million dot com?"

"Salena for a million dot com? What's that?" I said.

"My website."

Apparently there is no need to ease Ed's guilt. He's got it all figured out.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
1 YEAR AGO: I Hope There Isn’t Going To Be A Quiz
2 YEARS AGO: Sunglasses Required
3 YEARS AGO: Golden Eye
4 YEARS AGO: Making A List And Checking It Twice

Waterfront Dining

The lunch crowd at Juanito's Lunch Truck, parked just outside the Port Newark Container Terminal. It was raining but the workers did not stop coming; trucks stopping every few minutes, lining up for Juanito's goodies.

I was cooking lunch in the truck and watching them out the window, but I have to say, I probably could have made a killing selling food out of my kitchen.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
1 YEAR AGO: The Best Is Yet To Come
2 YEARS AGO: It’s Not Just A Medicinal Oil After All
3 YEARS AGO: Tracy Hilltop
4 YEARS AGO: Calming The Flatulent Tiger

Dances With Sheepskin

So yesterday I'm driving along, chatting about Chipotle Adobo Rubbed Roast Chicken with my friend Vicki when all of a sudden, I had the urge to pee. I had been wiggling in my seat for miles, willing it to go away, but it wouldn't. And every bump in the road was making it worse. I told Vicki I had to get off the phone but that I'd call her back. I quickly hung up and scanned the horizon for a place to pull over.

There were no rest areas and I didn't know where the next truck stop was, but then I saw a billboard for Pat Garrett's Sheepskin Outlet. They had a sign that said "Truck Parking". Oh, thank God. So I pulled off the exit and into this teeny little lot. Ed was sleeping but I knew he wouldn't wake because he sleeps like a dead man, so I "made water" and then got back into the cab to back out. Well, the parking lot was small, so I thought I'd pull up to give myself more room and then back up. Before I knew it, I was stuck. Oh shit.

So I went into the sleeper and shook Ed awake saying, "Um, baby? You gotta get up."

"Why?"

"Well, I was trying to get out of this little parking lot by myself because I didn't want to wake you, but now I'm stuck." I said.

"What do you mean you're stuck?" he said.

What the hell does stuck mean??

"Stuck. Like, can't move. Like, I don't know. Stuck." I said. "In the snow."

He groans loudly and gets up to come out and look. This is Ed assessing the situation:

The drive tires were spinning on the ice and even though there was some bare asphalt, none of it was under the tires it needed to be under. The trailer was a little jackknifed, and the back tires of the trailer were up against a small snow bank. So we couldn't really back up. Ed went across the street and got a bucket of rock salt from the gas station people. He came back and threw salt under the tires while I rocked the truck back and forth. Nothing.

We tried to drop the trailer and drive the truck out from under it, thinking the weight of the trailer was making it hard to pull out (usually this helps, but I thought the angle of the trailer was hindering movement). Nothing. We tried to shove pieces of broken asphalt under the tires to grab. Nothing. I did not want to call a tow truck. Do you know how much a tow truck for an 18-wheeler costs?? So we kept trying. Ed is so patient. He just said, "Well, let's try something else." Didn't make me feel bad at ALL about getting stuck. Wasn't even pissed. He told me how he'd been in this same situation before and he was trying all the things he tried then. He hooked the trailer up again and told me to try low gear and rock it again. I did and got nothing.

Finally, Ed got in the truck and tried it again himself. I felt a little movement, then a little more. Before I knew it, we lurched forward and were out!! Eddie has the magic touch. I lost a mudflap in the process of backing into the snowbank, so Ed went to fix that and took the bucket of rock salt back to the lady in the store.

When he returned to the truck, he handed me this hideous thing.

"What the hell is that??" I said.

"It's a rug."

"A rug?? It looks like a potholder. What am I going to do with that?"

"Well, I don't know." he said.

"How much was it?"

"Thirty dollars." he said.

"THIRTY DOLLARS???? Holy shit. Why on earth would you spend thirty dollars on that??" I said.

"Well, the lady was nice. She gave us rock salt. I wanted to buy something."

"You couldn't buy a pack of gum?" I said.

"Well, if you don't want it, go pick out something else. I don't care."

So I went across the street and into the store to look for something else. I opened the door and immediately felt as if I'd walked into Hannibal Lecter's basement. Animal hides everywhere. And it smelled like dead....sheep? Tibetan goat? I wandered around the store looking at the sheepskin coats, vests, hats, gloves, boots, slippers and purses. Purses? I spied an ugly combination mink/who-knows-what coat priced in the thousands. I don't know how it's possible to fuck up mink, but they did. Now if I lived in a sub-zero climate, I might have purchased one of the more conservatively styled sheepskin coats, but I don't. Just looking at it all made me hot.

The woman would not give me my money back (even though Ed was in there just minutes before) and offered me a store credit (why would I want a store credit???). I knew I'd never be going back there, so I just picked something else. I wound up getting a pair of buttery soft deerskin gloves which likely, someone will be getting as a gift.

And if that someone is reading this, know that those gloves were thirty five dollars and they're really from Eddie, even though my name will be the one on the gift card.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
1 YEAR AGO:

The Seat You Offer To Your Arch Enemy
2 YEARS AGO: The Man With The Silver Handbag
3 YEARS AGO: Silver Snowscape
4 YEARS AGO: Let Go Let Flow

Olga and Eddie Travel The Country Viking Style

Today Eddie and I were talking about getting a bigger sleeper on our truck. I know, I know, we just got this one but we're already itching to go bigger. There are several reasons, one of them being the regulations that will be put in place in the coming years that have to do with emissions, etc. The engine we currently have in our truck won't meet the new regulations. Another reason is now that we've been in it for a year, the things we had no idea we even needed are now the things we want.

And what we want, is something like our friends Jenny and Leif have. Our sleeper is 132" long; theirs is 170". It's truly amazing. So, while talking about it we had a few questions for them; how heavy their truck is (they have a Cascadia, we have a Coronado), what's their wheel base, what did they get for their trade in, etc. I called Jenny and left a message and a few minutes later, Leif called back. After a few pleasantries, I handed the phone over to Ed so the boys could talk specs.

After he got off the phone, he told me that Leif suggested we call his salesperson up in Salt Lake City. So Ed got the number and called.

"Hi. Can I talk to Sue please?" Holding.....holding....holding.

"Hi Sue! Yes, my name is Ed and I was referred to you by Leif Erikson...he bought a truck from you."

"Gryttr! Leif and Jenny Gryttr," I hissed. "Not Erikson!"

He waved me off, made his correction and finished his conversation. When he got off the phone he looked at me with that "What??" expression.

"Oh hi. Yes, I was referred to you by Leif Erikson....you know, the 14th century explorer." I mimicked him in a high, singsong voice. (Leif was actually a 10th century explorer, but I didn't know that until I Googled.)

He got it. And laughed. But of course I had to continue.

"And yeah, I'd like a truck that's similar in design and perhaps color to that of the Viking ship that Leif traveled the high seas with..." Ed is so easy to goof on and he's such a good sport!

The conversation ended with Ed and I talking about all the stuff we wanted in the new truck. Who knows when it'll happen, but I'm sure it won't be for at least another year.

And when we do, Ed will call me Olga and I'll make sure we have matching Viking helmets.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
1 YEAR AGO: They Say
2 YEARS AGO: Eddie Lounges In Cozumel Friday
3 YEARS AGO: I Think I’m Dating A Narcoleptic
4 YEARS AGO: Groundhog Surprise