Tuesday, March 03, 2009

I'll Get To It As Soon As I'm Done Churning The Butter, Dear.

While researching information for the oversized load we are hauling next week, I came across a section in the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation guidebook that said the following:

The Vehicle Code defines an “Implement of Husbandry” as farm equipment that meets all of the following criteria:

1. Is equipped with pneumatic tires except if prohibited by religious beliefs.
2. Is infrequently operated or moved upon highways.
3. Is used in agriculture for any of the following purposes: a) performance of agriculture production or harvesting activities for the farmer’s agricultural operations; or b) transportation of agricultural products or agricultural supplies for the benefit of the farmer’s agricultural operations.

The term also includes earthmoving equipment and any other vehicle determined by the department to be an implement of husbandry.

I know that "husbandry" is a term that dates back to the 14th century, but hearing it always makes me laugh; especially when it's the term animal husbandry. Though it's old fashioned and has nothing to do with people, it just sounds like a plan for a wild night of sex.

The archaic term reminds me of a conversation Ed and I have almost every single night about something equally archaic. Since I'm in charge of cooking all our meals and making sure he's well fed, he is often in charge of putting ice in our glasses and getting us something to drink. We keep the ice in a big Ziploc bag and sometimes it freezes into a big Ziploced block. When that happens, Ed yells at me for allowing it to freeze solid instead of periodically shaking the bag as it freezes to keep the pieces loose. I always tell him to bang the bag of ice either on the floor, the steps out the back door, or if it's really tough to break up, take it outside and drop it on the asphalt.

And every single night he says to me, "Well, we need an ice pick."

I ask you, my dear readers, WHO in the year or our Lord two thousand nine, has an ice pick?? Except maybe a person who plans on stabbing someone. Other than that, do you know anyone, anyone who needs or uses an ice pick???

Because if you do, will you please get it for me and send it to my house so I can satisfy my Medieval Man the next time he asks for one? I'm sure once he has one, he'll be even more excited to get on with his duties of animal husbandry.


Paul Daniel Ash said...

Plus, I know that some Old Order Amish are against the whole tires-on-a-farm-implement dealie... but there's something hilarious and kinky about a religious prohibition against pneumatic things.

Gil said...

You have to find an ice house where they make blocks of ice and ice cubes. I know that when we used to have keg parties we bought blocks of ice and the ice house either gave out or sold ice picks. Also, check out a hardware or home goods store. Finally, have Eddie just grind a cheap screwdriver into an icepick.

Stranger On An Even Stranger Planet said...

If you want to look at lots of really cool old-fashioned Amish tools (maybe even ice picks, I dunno...), try http://www.lehmans.com/

Anonymous said...

I need an ice pick, too. At home I buy those 10 pound bags of ice and sometimes they refreeze into a 10 pound lump of ice but we don't have an ice pick. I usually beat on the bag with this roll of Jimmy Dean sausage we have in the freezer.

Maybe instead of an ice pick you should buy some spicy pork breakfast products?

Angela said...

LMFAO @ buying spicy pork b-fast products. That's got to be the best possible solution to your ice problem. Seriously... I never thought of that myself and we always have frozen sausage in our freezer at home and find ourselves wondering how we're gonna break up our lumps of ice as well.

Perhaps the ice pick will make a come back this year?

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