Saturday, June 23, 2007

Alright, Mr. DeMille, I'm Ready For My Close-Up

Today I got my makeup done at the M.A.C. counter somewhere in the Los Angeles vicinity. I left there feeling like a movie star.

I was wearing falsies.

Lashes, that is.

Which, if you know anything about anything, is the true secret to all eyes that are dazzlingly Hollywood. Don't believe the hype of any of those mascara ads. They lie. It has nothing to do with the mascara and everything to do with the lashes.

Back in my mother's day, they were as much a part of getting dressed as putting on undergarments. Eyes were naked without them. Years ago, I had wanted to wear them on a daily basis, but no one I knew did. In fact, I don't know anyone now who wears them either. All of my friends, with the exception of Miss Lynn, view makeup so apathetically, that it almost makes me want to cry. For them, that is.

So I believe being false is the new truth; for me, anyway. Fabulously fringed peepers are going to be my reality; a wardrobe staple. They are like the Wonder Bra for eyes, and I will bet this week's paycheck that I'm the only trucker out here wearing them.

Let people snicker, if they dare. I plan to change the face of the trucking industry one coy glance at a time; batting those babies until they feel the breeze.


HotDudi said...

Wow! You look amazing. I wish I could use the falsies on a regular basis. My problem is not being able to actually put them on in under 3 hours!!

Anonymous said...

Try putting a mirror on a flat surface, using good tweezers, hold the lashes on both ends, look down into the mirror and put the lashes on. Done!
9 times out of 10 you have to shorten the fake lashes first.
If you still can't do it, get the individual ones and pick them up one clump at a time!
In days gone by, we sometimes used three pairs of lashes at once.
We were Lashprofessionals!