Tuesday, June 26, 2007


I wear a size eleven shoe; sometimes even a twelve.

Whenver someone asks what size shoe I wear, I always say "An eleven or a twelve; it depends on the shoe." And to that, I get one of two responses:



"Really?? Your foot doesn't look that big."

I don't know what they're expecting; some ridiculously long clown shoe sticking out of the bottom of my pants? Or maybe something ala Minnie Mouse, where my stick-like leg is swimming in a shoe the size of an inflatable raft.

Sorry to disappoint them, but m
y foot is in proportion to the rest of my body; I'm not some five foot tall, hundred and fourteen pound Nicole Richiesque chick sporting a foot the size of Shaq's.

But because of my enormous feet, I've always had trouble finding shoes, and when I was younger, my brother would compound my despair by telling me I should just wear the boxes and throw away the shoes. I might as well have done that, since everything in my size looked as if it were made for the orthopaedic prom anyway; ugly and at least thirty years past its stylish heyday.

So in my teens, when we couldn't find anything appropriate for my age in our town, we'd make a pilgrimage to Globe Shoes in Paramus, New Jersey. It was such a big deal, that we made it a family affair - I'd go for my big foot and my grandmother would tag along to pick up a little something for herself in triple wide. After we completed our shoe shopping, we'd hit the malls (no sales tax in New Jersey!) and do lunch.

These days it's not so hard for me to find shoes, especially since my daily shoe wear consists primarily of flip-flops and sneakers. When I used to work in a dressier environment, Nordstrom's half-yearly sale is where I'd stock up on most of my heels, slingbacks and dressy sandals; you know, the good stuff. But for all other occassions, I've found Payless to have the best selection of cheap, trendy shoes in my size.

I'm now happy to be able to cover my monster feet with appropriately stylish footwear, but I still feel bad for the girls who have to give me a pedicure. They work so much harder and longer on me than on the average customer, and if they were smart, they'd try to get more money from people like me.

Perhaps they should charge by the foot.

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