Saturday, May 03, 2008

The Sorriest Team Drivers You've Ever Seen

Last month, Ed and I went to take our DOT Physicals; a Department of Transportation physical examination required by federal law, given every two years, in order for us to operate a commercial motor vehicle.

When Ed called the compliance department to find out if they got the forms we faxed in, the girl he was speaking to said, "Yes, we did. But you both failed."

Shocked, Ed said "What??"


"Why are you shouting?" Ed asked.

"Because the doctor who filled out your form stated on it that you are deaf." she answered.

"That's ridiculous. I'm not deaf." Ed replied. "It says that on the form?? I don't know how we didn't see that."

"Well, probably because your girlfriend is blind." Bah-dum-bump.

Great. A comedian.

Apparently, from what the form stated, I had one good eye and Ed couldn't hear. As you might imagine, this would disqualify us from operating a forty ton vehicle on the scenic highways and byways of North America.

After some review, we realized the form contained several errors, resulting in us having to take new exams. It seems the clinic that did our physicals doesn't perform the task very often and didn't know what they were doing; another fine example of gross incompetence in our nation's work force.

As for the screw up...don't even get me started. If you want to suck at your job and it only impacts you, fine. But when your lack of competence affects me, I have a problem. These errors not only caused us a delay, since we had to immediately interrupt our route in order to find a place to give us the once over before we could continue driving, but the error also could have lost us money if we weren't able to drive to our destination. A failed physical is not tolerated by the DOT. No way, no how.

But now that we've got the DOT seal of approval and clean bills of health, we're ready to hit the road once again. I'll be paying close attention to horns, sirens and bells at railroad crossings while Ed keeps an eye out for deer and road hazards.

Sorry team, my eye.


Anonymous said...

OMG!!! Seriously that was a funny read. Sorry!


Anonymous said...

This was hilarious! But sorry you had to put up with such malfeasance. Lucky there's not an intelligence exam for DOT physical providers, hmmm? Or points off for not filling in the paperwork correctly... however, the profession did get you to submit to and pay twice for the service. One wonders ...