Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Taxes And Ta-Tas

We're still in Baltimore waiting on our load. They keep telling us it's going to be ready, but then we find out they're still not done building it yet. I'm sort of thinking they should know how long it takes to build these things since that's what they do here. I really don't mind though, because I love hanging out. And we're getting paid for it, so I can't complain.
We spent most of the afternoon at Barnes & Noble where Ed worked on our taxes. He's already paid the IRS, but just had to finish up the paperwork to send the accountant. We secured a large table by the window and hunkered down with lattes (for us) and magazines (for me). I think in the past few days, I've read almost everything in my usual repertoire; I'm going to have to move on to crafting magazines next.

This was a new Barnes & Noble for us, located in a small outdoor shopping mall. When we left the bookstore, we walked to the nearest restaurant for lunch called
Tilted Kilt Pub & Eatery. I was in the mood for what might be construed as "pub food".

We walked in and were smacked in the face with a wall of girls who looked like this:

Ed and I did a double take and immediately looked at each other. We had no idea we walked into a Scottish Hooters. And boy, were there hooters. Nice ones and lots of them. The girl who seated us even had a tattoo on her belly and side (sort of like the ones in the photo), words of some sort, words which would have been too hard to get close to, squinting, in order to read.

Have you ever tried to give your lunch order to a pair of enormous breasts? It's awkward. And I like breasts. Probably as much as any guy. But it's distracting. More distracting than a Hooters girl in her tiny orange shorts. Put one of these girls next to a Hooters girl, and it looks like the Hooters Girl is wearing a parka.

First, Hooters girls wear a tank top. As tiny as it is, it covers a lot more than the Tilted Kilt girls' uniforms did. They were wearing plaid bras, showing ALL KINDS of cleavage and breast. Smooth, creamy breasts. Tanned breasts. VERY LARGE BREASTS. And then they're wearing kilts. Well, "kilt" is a little generous. It was more like they were wearing plaid napkins as skirts. To finish off the outfit, white knee socks and black Mary Janes. Sexiest waitress outfits I've ever seen outside of a strip club.

Lunch was pretty good. The appetizer was unremarkable, but my sandwich and sweet potato fries were deeee-lish. Ed had a meatloaf sandwich and mashed potatoes. He seemed pleased.

In the past few weeks, Ed and I have been talking about going on another European vacation. I wanted to go to either Ireland or Scotland. Ed was on the fence, not sure he was interested in either place.

Scotland is now on the table.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ah, The Subtle Contrasts Of New Jersey
A Fishy Pishy Is Never Dishy
A Dash Of Ignorance Makes For A Tasty Treat
Before The Luck Ran Out
Five Guys I'm In Love With This Week


Gil said...

Finally, a reason to go back to Texas!!!

Katie said...

Gil's remark totally threw me off... what is in Texas?! Did I miss something? Inside joke?

Angela said...

Enjoyed the "jubbly" atmosphere of a Tilted Kilt up in Green Bay while I was at SNI Academy. Tasty, but kinda made me a little self conscious as I have always wanted breasts that spill about all over the place.

Gil said...

The Tilted Skirt!

ELH said...

the place is "popping" up all over the greater chicago area, very popular with the 20 something crowds

Brady Stump said...

Thanks for the great read. Keep it up!

Trucker said...

Never had heard of such a thing and there are 3 in my area. I guess you can tell I'm not in the 20's crowd!

ELH said...

both my sons really enjoy the place..they're 25 & 22..I think I would be much to distracted if I were to venture in there...I'll stick to cracker barrel..

Anonymous said...

Good writing, but just so you're aware the "girl" on the far left is a transgendered girl, aka a boy. You can tell by her height (Asian girls aren't tall), facial shape, and forearm circumference (larger than the other girls). Fun timez

The Daily Rant said...

ANONYMOUS: Thanks for stopping by and commenting! Just curious is it you know so much about boys who look like girls? In any case, she fits he/she fits right in with the rest of the lovelies! :)