Monday, May 08, 2006

At Least She Isn't In The Cubicle Next To YOU

Today was my first class at truck driver training school. Overall, not a bad day. Eight students, two instructors. Six men, two women. I'm one of the two, of course.

The men are really nice, but the other woman........

Oh. My. God. Let's just say that the entire WORLD should be happy she's going to be driving a truck, because if she were to sit next to anyone in an office in the real world; in a cubicle somewhere, at a desk next to you, perhaps even in a nearby office; there would be unpreventable suicides. Actually, there may be assisted suicides, because I for one, would definitely help put someone out of their misery. I wouldn't feel right to allow them to wallow in the sheer misfortune of having to work next to this woman. I'd help them escape in any way possible.

And you know what? It seems that I often face these types of challenges regarding people. WHY? At least I'm not alone in my misery though; there are eight men who feel the same way. Oh, she's nice enough, but she didn't shut her mouth for ONE minute from 6:45 this morning until we left at 5:15. I actually think the instructors let us go early to put us out of our misery.

Here's what most of the day with her was like:

"This is my first class but I've been riding in the truck with my husband for over a year now, he's been doing it for ten years and sometimes he shows me how to do things, you know, he let me shift a few times and I just can't get it, I can get to fifth gear, but past that I just don't know why I can't seem to get the hang of it, you know you have to double clutch like we'll be taught here at school but he speed shifts and never touches the clutch but I can't do that cause I can barely get to fifth gear but you know he's been doing this for ten years and he also has sleep apnea, which isn't good and could be dangerous but he'll be going to a clinic next week for that and I told him he needed to do it before I get in the truck with him because you know we're going to be driving team together and we have to go to Cedar Rapids, Iowa for our orientation, they're going to put us up in a hotel and everything because the company we're going to drive for is really good, I tell you we really did a lot of research on this before we decided to do it and y'all know, I just got married in December after being divorced for over twenty years and I just can't get used to writing my new name, boy I can't believe all this paperwork they are making us fill out, I really hope we don't have to do this everyday because we really need to have time for them to show us the shifting and stuff, do you have trouble shifting too, I think it's maybe just a woman thing because my husband lets me drive sometimes and he tries to show me but I just can't get past the fifth gear although he really knows what he's doing I just get worried sometimes because of his sleep apnea and the fact that he's gained over 40 pounds since he's been driving this truck and you know that could be dangerous since you're sittin all day and it puts a lot of strain on your heart and your arteries don't pump the blood as good, do you know if they're going to take us to do our physicals today because when my husband told me about the physical he said that I should call him and tell him when I'm going because they ask a lot of questions but the company I'm driving for really only hires people who can pass the physical I hope they don't say anything about my blood pressure medicine because I really have to take that I just won't be able to be on the road if I can't take my medicine, they can't tell us not to take it can they cause isn't that illegal or something for them to do something like that, I just don't know if I'll have time to go to the doctor cause right after training I have to go up to Cedar Rapids up there with my husband for orientation and oh, I hope the training isn't too much for him since he has that sleep apnea....."

Does ANYONE have a gun???

This is SERIOUSLY what my day was like. ALL day. She didn't shut up for a minute. And, she's from Tennessee, so she said all of this in a twangy, annoying accent. Well, everyone in the class has a twangy accent, but none are annoying.

I can't forsee my lasting thirteen days sitting in this class near her. I might just have to say something tomorrow. Great. Me, the New Yorker, telling off the sweet fifty-three year old woman from Shelbyville, TN. This is going to go over real well. Shit.

I'll let you know how it goes.


Christie... said...

Oh now, it can't be that bad....LOL Bless her pea-pickin' heart!

Christie... said...

I Fed-Ex you a gun as soon as possible!

Elevensest said...

Ok, I just left a comment about the richness of people you meet. I take it back. ;)