Monday, December 24, 2012

This Sled Is Being Pulled By Rudolph The Bucking Red Nosed Reindeer

I will bet you every penny in my pocket that Santa is enjoying a more luxurious ride tonight than we are.  This trailer is beating the hell out of us.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, this is not our trailer.  And the way it's loaded (with the freight in the middle of the trailer), and the amount of weight that's loaded on it, is causing us to experience the roughest ride we've ever had.  Our trailer is an aluminum, air-ride trailer.  This one is a steel floor Conestoga (which is the brand name for a rolling tarp) style, with a rocker-arm suspension.  I couldn't tell you what that means, but Ed said:  "It means there's a pivot point on the frame between the axles - so basically when one axle goes up, the other goes down - there's essentially no suspension."  We're as heavy as we can get - right at 80,000 pounds - and it's a like pulling a bucking, hairy beast.  It's horrible.

Doesn't matter where you are in the cab, if you're not holding on, you can be thrown violently off your feet at any point.  Peeing while moving is a challenge.  Hell, sleeping is a challenge.  Imagine trying to take a nap on a mechanical bull.  Just sitting in the seats - driver or passenger - feels as if you're being beat with a two-by-four.  The backs of my thighs, if I could see them, are certainly black and blue, and the air suspension in the seats is worthless.  I've bottomed out more often than a low-rider in a car chase through Los Angeles. 

I'm trying to decide if the money is still worth it.  Because if I need to use the money we make to reattach the kidney that's being knocked loose, I'm not sure how great a Christmas present this load is going to turn out to be.

Now I know what it feels like to travel cross country. 

In a covered wagon. 

With wooden wheels. 

Being pulled by an ornery horse.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

2011: Call Me For A Good Time – I’m ALWAYS Happy
2010: Blue Plates And Books For Christmas Eve
2009: Holiday Theft Is On The Rise…Right In Your Own Neighborhood!!
2008: The Team Finally Takes A Rest
2007: The Night Before Christmas And All Through The House
2006: The Only Visible Flames Came From The Candles On The Altar
2005: Tonight’s The Night, People

6 comments:

Marlaina said...

MacGyver says tell Ed to take him off the list of people interested in this load if you two are not available.

Gil said...

I was wondering if the money was really worth missing Christmas. It looks like you answered my question. I should have checked here before I sent you Christmas wishes.

Belledog said...

Oh no. Lucrative but bruising.

Wishing you a Merry Christmas and peace in truck.

Watching Super 8. Looks good.

ELH said...

merry christmas to you both as well as to all of your readers

The Daily Rant said...

Marlaina: I don't think our survive it. LOL

Gil: We have two kidneys...so I guess it's worth it. :)

Belledog: Hope you're having a fabulous day! Enjoy your movies!

ELH: Thank you very much! Merry Christmas to you and yours. And I appreciate the readership of all of you!!

june in florida said...

I hope you guy's survive, happy new year.Will you be anywhere good for New years, Vegas maybe.Hope its not putting too much wear and tear on cab.