Mr. & Mrs. Javelina And The Carb Encounter

My mother was walking through her house when her outside motion detector light went on. When she looked out, she saw a Javelina.

In the telling of the story to me, she explained how first there was just one, then two, then all of a sudden, seven. She and my stepfather threw out some bread for them to eat because they were "concerned" they didn't have enough to eat. Since when are desert animals carb junkies?

Anyway, she went on to tell me, "They were really big ones. At first I saw a medium baby, a big guy and his wife."

"His wife??" I said. "Javelina get married?"

"Well, you know what I mean - the mother, father and the baby. It must have been his wife, because they were with each other. And of course, they had a baby."

Oh riiight. The baby. And I'm sure Javelina don't have babies out of wedlock.

"OK, Mom...what I'm saying is that you called it "his wife" as if they get married."

"Well," she said in an exasperated tone, "you know what I mean. They were together."

So here's a picture of the medium baby, the big one and his wife; along with the rest of his extended family. Or maybe they're just his friends, following him around the neighborhood looking for carbs.

Eddie's Adoring/Bored Girlfriend Friday

Eddie took this picture of me with his camera phone. I was either very bored or very entranced by what he was saying. Since I don't remember this day, I guess I'll have to go with whichever one he thinks it is.

Raindrops On Roses And Whiskers On Kittens

Here are some of my favorite things:

1. The cold side of the pillow. Ahhh, how I love to flip it and flip it and flip it; each time getting a fresh, new, cold place to rest my cheek.

2. That Aha! moment when I figure out the word in the crossword puzzle I was having trouble with. Sometimes this happens while I'm driving and not even actively doing the puzzle anymore - it'll all of a sudden come to me. Also, I often do a crossword puzzle on the phone with my mother. She gives me the clues to the ones she can't get and I give her the answers. Fun!

3. A southern accent. Most times I can be sucked in by that beautiful honey drenched drawl. My favorite is Paula Deen with all her darlin's and sweetheart's and y'alls (plus she puts butter in everything). I'm also easily sucked in by listening to the slow, easy manner in which Matthew McConaughey speaks; although he could not speak at all and I'd be sucked in. When I don't like it is when the southern accent is spewing something ignorant or racist; then it's just plain 'ol redneck.

4. Cold, crisp air. I love how it assaults my nose, the purity of it almost hurting my nostrils. I don't think it actually even has a scent, but I think you know what I mean; it just smells clean.

5. Untouched snow. Clinging to delicate branches, weighing them down, flake by flake. Even more of a treat for the eyes are when the delicate branches are covered in a layer of twinkly ice, glistening in the sun and reaching far from their trunk to hover precariously over the pristine, untouched snow.

6. The satisfied feeling of a scratched itch. Ahhhhh. Better yet, if someone is scratching it for you.

7. My brother's "laugh till his eyes tear up" laugh. I don't even have to be in his presence to know he's laughing so hard he's almost crying; I can hear it.

8. The smell of Drakkar Noir. Always has been, always will be one of my favorite male scents. And oh how it brings me back.

9. The memory of me, spitting Big Mac lettuce all over the steering wheel of my Chevy Monte Carlo (first car) because my best friend made me laugh SO hard. We were stalking a guy together, and on the way to his house, pulled over to get a bite to eat. We sat in the parking lot down the block from the stalkee's house, eating our Mickey D's and laughing like we were getting paid to do it. High-jinks like this make one hungry and goofy.

10. Sitting on the stoop at 1628 Seddon Street, the house I lived in after I was born and where my grandparents lived until the end of their lives. I can see the silvery grey pebbles of the stone in the steps and the silver aluminum railing down each side. You could watch the whole neighborhood go by from these steps. Those are the days when people actually talked to their neighbors and walking the streets of the Bronx were safe.

11. The sound of the ice cream man. No matter what neighborhood we were in, you could hear him coming from blocks away. At the first sound of the music, we'd run inside and get our money, ready to buy a Bomb Pop or a Toasted Almond. Choosing from the visual menu on the side of the truck was almost as much fun as eating the ice cream itself.

12. The scent of lemon-verbena; most often, in a candle, but recently I found the same scent in Oscar Blandi's dry shampoo. Fresh!

13. Coming around the bend on Interstate 64/77 in Charleston, West Virginia and seeing the stunningly BEAUTIFUL gold dome of the capitol building. Takes my breath every time. Here's a better picture of the gold dome.

Bite Sized Yummy Goodness

A bag of Chips Ahoy on the dashboard; these and a cup of tea kept me company for the lonely, snowy ride across the country while Eddie snored the night away.

What's Next, Reporting Your Maid In The Middle Of Her Dusting The Living Room Tsochkes?

Do we really need the average moron getting in on border security?

When a reporter can sneak over the border in under six minutes undetected, I'd say border security has enough trouble doing their job with trained agents; there's really no need to include the less-than-competent masses.

Besides, I thought we already determined that Homeland Security was a "reality" destined for cancellation.

The Trees Help Guide The Way

The view from the windshield while driving through Lassen Volcanic National Park, Northern California. If I can figure out how to do it, I'll post a video of this area too.

Be Wary Of Women Wearing Skull Panties

These are my cousin's panties drying on a windowsill of a hotel in Great Barrington, Massachusetts. Four of us were there for a "Girls Weekend" away; sorta makes it seem like things got a little wild, doesn't it?

The photo was taken by her and I don't need to tell you that boring girls don't wear skull panties.

Southwest Sunset

The sun setting over McDowell Road in Avondale, Arizona.

My postings may be a little light this coming week since we're still doing the UPS run which allows for very little time on the internet. Expect skimpy text content and less than stellar photos.

No Rig Too Big

IMBD lists the plot of this movie as, "A mother and daughter who run a brothel for truckers fight back when the Mafia tries to take over their operation."

Since I've only been out here for four years, I can only speak of my experience, and I have never, ever, EVER seen any "working girl" who look like the women in this movie poster. If any of you drivers out there with more miles under your belt want to weigh in, please do!

Holsteins On Display

Waiting for dinner in Lee, Massachusetts.

Stupidity Threat Level: Orange*

Ed and I laughed out loud simultaneously when we were watching TV and saw the promo for a new show.

It's called Homeland Security USA.

Oh my God. You've got to be kidding me. Are these people serious?? This is this the best they can do? Isn't it enough that the Department of Homeland Security itself is a running joke?

Boy, won't all the sheeple be happy; they'll have another piece of crap to watch.

* For those of you not familiar with the Garanimals system that Homeland Security uses to identify their threat levels, Orange is "high". Be afraid....very afraid. Especially of this TV show.

Not That There's Any Reason To Park Here

Beatty, Nevada. Where there is less than nothing to do.

Ain't Nuthin' But A Lizard Pimp

Just before Thanksgiving, I bought a black velour track suit.

No, I'm not a ninety year old Jew from New York currently wintering in Florida. What?? Have you SEEN them? All I need is a pair of gold sneakers and I could pass for one, you know.

Anyway, back to the track suit. It's simple, stylish, and comfy; and for me, since I'm anti-sloppy sweats, the perfect alternative. It does have a faux diamond zipper-pull, so there's a little extra shine to match my earrings.

The first time I wore it, I got compliments, which was a good sign. The second time I wore it, I got a little bold and went shopping in it, looking for a similar one. No luck. The store I originally bought it in didn't seem to be carrying it anymore and the ones that I did find just looked cheesy and I don't know, baggy. But I did come across another sweet little find. A silvery purple velour track suit jacket. No pants. Not an ensemble. Just a jacket. And I loved it.

It had ruching on the pockets and sleeves and complemented my hair color. Yes, girls do consider purchasing items that compliment their hair color. So I bought it. I recently wore it paired with a black spaghetti strap tank and the black velour pants. I thought it added just the right pop of color. After all, the black pants, black tank, black jacket might have been a bit too overwhelming.

WELL. It was only when I spied myself in a full length mirror did I realize...

All that velvety velour? A little too dressy for a truck driver. What with my platform flip-flops, my new gold hoops and my faux snakeskin bag, I looked less like a truck driver and more like a pimp.

All I needed was a large fedora trimmed in a feather boa and a couple of nasty ho's and I'd be all ready to set up shop. Needless to say, I'll be getting rid of the purple jacket. I plan on giving it to my mother.

She's a lot closer to a ninety year old Jew than I am and no one would ever mistake her for a pimp.

Whizzing Through Dallas

Photo caught while hanging out the window as Eddie drove through Dallas. Reunion tower can be seen on the right side of the picture.

Out Of This World Outport Life

Icebergs, whales, lighthouses and old fashioned fishing villages. That's what you'll find in Twillingate, Newfoundland. A former outport that was once only accessible by boat, can now be reached via a causeway that connects it to the mainland.
Twillingate is in the heart of iceberg alley, where icebergs from Greenland travel through Notre Dame Bay as they head south, melting along the way. It was one of these icebergs that the Titanic struck in 1912, resulting in one of the most famous maritime disasters on record.

Today, although population is dwindling, Twillingate is still one of the most beautiful coastal areas in Canada.

Eddie On A Cliff Friday

Eddie standing on the edge of a cliff named Devil's Cove Head, in Notre Dame Bay located in Twillingate, Newfoundland.

The All Purpose Swab

It's Crazy That I'm Crazy For Keanu

While getting my nails done this week, the salon TV was playing the movie "The Lake House". I got sucked in.

I happen to like this movie (I'm all about the cheesy romance movie) but every time I see Keanu Reeves' face on the screen, my first thought is Oh God, Keanu. He's such a bad actor. But then I sit through each and every moment of the movie and at the end, wind up sighing and in a breathy voice saying, I love Keanu.

Here are my Keanu favorites:

1. The Lake House
2. A Walk In The Clouds
3. The Replacements
4. Something's Gotta Give
5. Sweet November
6. Point Break

He Must Have Learned It From TV

I've decided I have an extremely low tolerance for television. My biggest pet peeve is turning it on the moment you enter the room. After being at my parent's house for Thanksgiving, I realized that their television is ALWAYS on. ALWAYS. Well, except when they sleep, of course. I also realized that I just can't stand the sound of it. Even if I were to go in the other room, and their house isn't all that small, I just can't get away from it.

We used to have a television in our truck but we took it out. We never ever watched it. And I liked it that way. Sure, in the beginning it was hard not being able to get a signal to watch the shows I wanted to see, but that all faded. I realized I could live without it. The only thing I really love to watch is Grey's Anatomy and I can get that online and watch it at my leisure.

The only other time I can't get away from the television is in a hotel room. The first thing Ed does when he walks in, is turn it on. Sometimes he'll go in and get the room while I stay in the truck and get our overnight bag ready. This is essential, especially in the summertime when he turns the A/C on before I get to the room so the room is always on its way to a beautiful icy 65 before I get there. The other thing he does is turn on the television. That I can do without. I turn it off immediately upon my entry and try to distract him from watching it by offering other things for him to do; reading, computer, a good Scrabble game....sometimes my tactics work, other times, I sit there miserably being forced to watch things like the Sci-Fi channel, the X-Men movie or whatever other crap that happens to be on, usually stuff that numbs my mind by just the sheer sound of it.

I'm not above watching television. I just like to watch what I like to watch. Duh. I will most likely never get Ed to sit through hours of my choices, but I try. He will watch the Food Network to a certain extent and I can sometimes get him to watch What Not To Wear, but I have to be tricky.

Being tricky takes too much planning and effort, so I'll just instruct him to be vigilant about the mute button and lower the volume at times when they movie is showing a chase scene, a blow up scene, a drill sargeant screaming orders scene, or any other loud noises that may upset my manufactured hotel room serenity. If you met me, you'd never think I'd need these times of silence since I talk loud and a lot, but even I need a break from my own voice.

I don't know how Ed does it all day long. He must be some sort of saint. Or, oh my God....perish the though...he's ignoring me! Is that a special mutant power he learned from watching X-Men on TV??

Your Beating Heart

A friend of mine recently had a large riff within her family regarding the handling of her father's body after his death. The family, without her knowledge, decided to donate his entire body to science. She, finding this out when she arrived at his memorial service and didn't see a body, blew a gasket.

Because the family decided to donate the body, the cremation was to be free. And because the donation was free, the body went into the system without any way to immediately identify it. Her dad was lost. She called all over town, every hospital, local funeral homes and a cremation facility as far as 120 miles away. She was frantic.

She finally located the body, pissing off her family in the process and had her father moved to a facility where he would remain until his body was cremated as he wanted. She didn't really have a problem with the organ donation part, but being the closest one in the family to her father, she knew what he wanted and it wasn't to be donated to science.

When my father died and I found out that he wanted to be cremated, I had no problem with it, even though I had no idea prior to his death that it's what he wanted. Only when I saw his scribbling of "cremate me and then sauté me with a little garlic and olive oil" written in his hand on the envelope that contained his will, did I know it was his own wish. Perhaps an odd way to joke about one's remains, but nonetheless, his wishes.

I already know I want to donate my body to science and I've indicated this wish in the appropriate place on my driver's license. I believe I've mentioned it to my family several times also but if that's not enough, I guess they can read it here. I want to be able to give someone life, sight, extra time in this world, whatever. If they want to examine the caramel latte in my belly or pull my fingernails out one by one to help come up with a cure for something, I'm all for it.

I have an aunt who only wants to be an organ donors if she can have a say as to where her organs go; not wanting to give a second life to a petty criminal or worse, a pedophile. I don't really think that's our choice to make. I think it's selfish to not donate at all based on the fact that you won't be able to give your organs to who you want. You're dead. Don't you think it's time to stop being a control freak?

What do you think?