Monday, December 08, 2008

Ain't Nuthin' But A Lizard Pimp

Just before Thanksgiving, I bought a black velour track suit.

No, I'm not a ninety year old Jew from New York currently wintering in Florida. What?? Have you SEEN them? All I need is a pair of gold sneakers and I could pass for one, you know.

Anyway, back to the track suit. It's simple, stylish, and comfy; and for me, since I'm anti-sloppy sweats, the perfect alternative. It does have a faux diamond zipper-pull, so there's a little extra shine to match my earrings.

The first time I wore it, I got compliments, which was a good sign. The second time I wore it, I got a little bold and went shopping in it, looking for a similar one. No luck. The store I originally bought it in didn't seem to be carrying it anymore and the ones that I did find just looked cheesy and I don't know, baggy. But I did come across another sweet little find. A silvery purple velour track suit jacket. No pants. Not an ensemble. Just a jacket. And I loved it.

It had ruching on the pockets and sleeves and complemented my hair color. Yes, girls do consider purchasing items that compliment their hair color. So I bought it. I recently wore it paired with a black spaghetti strap tank and the black velour pants. I thought it added just the right pop of color. After all, the black pants, black tank, black jacket might have been a bit too overwhelming.

WELL. It was only when I spied myself in a full length mirror did I realize...

All that velvety velour? A little too dressy for a truck driver. What with my platform flip-flops, my new gold hoops and my faux snakeskin bag, I looked less like a truck driver and more like a pimp.

All I needed was a large fedora trimmed in a feather boa and a couple of nasty ho's and I'd be all ready to set up shop. Needless to say, I'll be getting rid of the purple jacket. I plan on giving it to my mother.

She's a lot closer to a ninety year old Jew than I am and no one would ever mistake her for a pimp.


Gil said...

Sounded like you were preparing for a career as a 'lot lizard' when you give up trucking! Now we need the pictures. Hope all is well with you and Eddie.

Michelle | Bleeding Espresso said...

I love fitted track suits, velour and otherwise. They're super-cute, super-comfy, and actually pretty flattering as well. I always get compliments when I'm wearing one; yes I have several (I kind of live in them around the house), although only one velour, kind of a minty green that I wouldn't think would work on me but apparently does.

Viva la velour!

Anonymous said...

Dallas looks pretty. Beatty looks bor-ing.

As for the track suit in velvet? Hmmm. I love my sweats but I could'nt ever wear anything like that due to the dog hair I would pick up. lol. I'd be like one of those lint brushes and end up looking like a pretty darn sharp sasquatch. HA!