I was sitting on the porch last night, talking to a friend of mine when he said, "Your friend doesn't work?" meaning my best friend Vicki, the one I'm staying with.
I said, "No."
"Her husband pays for everything?"
"Yeah," incredulous that he was even thinking it should be any other way.
"She has two little kids, so she stays home with them."
"Well, I have a kid and my wife works."
"Hmm. Well, I don't really know how they do things in your part of the woods, but this is how I see it; the man's job is to work. Period. They make the money, they support the family, they take care of whatever needs to be done outside of the home in a monetary capacity. The women; they take care of the house, do the laundry, make sure their man has a meal on the table when he gets home from work, takes care of the kids, pays the bills that he needs her to pay, runs to the bank, goes to the post office, picks up the drycleaning, and does whatever else needs to be done to run that house and take care of those children and him. Oh, and she gives him as much sex as he wants or needs. That is her job."
I don't understand why so many people don't comprehend this setup. It's a no brainer. I am a firm believer and in full support of this arrangement. I have done it, sans the kids, and would do it again in a heartbeat.
Your job is to take care of me and my job is to take care of you. I will show interest in your interests, not because I like to, but because I love you and want to. I will make sure you have clean underwear and socks, a good meal, a clean house, good sex, etc.
I guess I'm a little traditional in this respect, but I have a very definitive idea of how the roles in a relationship should be and on many of them, I am not very flexible. One of these ideas is the role of mother.
Mothers should not work. They should be mothering. They should be there when the kids leave for school and there when they get home. They should be available for school plays, field trips, ballet practice and Boy Scouts. The mother is the lifeblood of the family. Those children are formed by her love, care, attention and guidance. This is much too important of a task to leave to anyone else.
I don't know what it's like to come from a family where the mother worked outside of the home. Mine did not. My cousins did not. My Aunts and Grandmother and female family friends did not. It was not part of my upbringing or my culture to have a Mom who worked. It was unheard of.
So, I can't relate so much to people that do. People who put their kids in day care to go make the same amount of money it's going to take to pay for that day care. I can't dictate what others should do, although I often love to, but I will never work if I have children. It's not negotiable.
I agree wholeheartedly with Vicki on this one; it's never gonna happen. It is the man's job to take care of his family by working, no matter what it takes. It is my job to take care of him and our children.
You do your job and I'll do mine. And for all the mothers out there who are superior; I salute you.