Last week, I was standing with my mother at my nephews baseball game when her phone rang. The caller ID showed the call as coming from my brother's house, which was odd since no one was supposed to be at the house since we were all at the game.
She answered the call and as I leaned in, I heard my step-father on the other end. He was out of breath and babbling, but we couldn't understand what he was saying over the high pitched siren in the background.
"What the hell is that noise??" my mother said.
"I set the alarm off at Mike's house!" he yelled.
My brother lives in a mini-fortress. First, you have to get through a gated front drive which is accessed by code or remote control. Then, you have to pass through an alarmed barrier to enter the house and pool area. I think he's even trained the indigenous scorpions to strike on command. So, when my step-father entered the property (he used his code to get in the main gate) and then the house, setting the alarm off by mistake, we knew the police would be arriving any minute. My brother walked him through the process to shut the alarm, but we all rushed home,hoping to beat the cops there.
Though we were less than a mile away, when we arrived, the police car was already there, parked outside the gate. The car was empty, but as we got closer to the house, we saw the officer stalking the front door. We found out later that he climbed over the wall to get onto the property. Impressive for two reasons; one, because it's not all that easy to get over the wall and two, he didn't look to be in good enough shape to be scaling them.
We piled out of two cars (there were about twelve of us) and headed into the house, leaving my sister-in-law to prove to the cop that she actually lived there. When the cop asked her to produce her driver's license to prove who she was, she explained that she didn't have it; she had left it in the house.
I'm not sure which is worse at this point; my step-father allegedly breaking into her house, or her driving right up to the cop without her driver's license.
Best part of all? My step-father sitting in the living room, watching TV and eating apple pie, oblivious to the fact that he almost wound up face-down on the pavement, hands cuffed behind his back and sharing the backseat of a squad car with my sister-in-law.