I know there are those of you out there who will probably praise the movie Watchmen. I don't know who you people are. And you know what? I don't want to know who you people are. I hope never to meet you or be sucked into a conversation by you.
I don't even want to know why you liked the movie. Well, that's not entirely true. I would actually like to know why you liked it, just to see if I can identify all of you by some like characteristic so I'll know who to stay very far away from. Perhaps you all have an earlobe that hangs low on one side, or the third finger of your left hand is an inch shorter than all the others or maybe you wear t-shirts that say "I Like Stupid Movies".
Finding out why you liked the movie would mean I'd have to talk to you about it and likely, you'd recount your favorite part or line or character, and then I would have to risk having an aneurysm all over again. That I can't do because I already lost three hours of my life this week. Three hours that I'll likely never make up. Three hours of time that will never be erased from my brain, images seared into it that will take years and years to forget. I might even need therapy.
There are not enough words in the English language (or all languages combined) to express the level of SUCK this movie rose to. I don't even want to type the string of expletives I used to describe what I thought about it, the time I wasted and the fact that I sat through the entire thing, because if I did, this post would not only be NSFW (not safe for work), it would also be NSFS (not safe for sailors).
Once again though, I chose to accompany my very cute, very loving boyfriend to a movie of his choice. Why, you ask? Why did I do this once again, after I've done it in the past and regretted my decision? I wish I could say it was because I'm a dumbass and didn't intelligently think it out. But that's not true.
I did think it out (albeit for a split second). I did it because honestly, he does SO much for me. I initially said no, knowing I would hate it, but then he asked me again. So I gave in. I thought, Okay, it's got Jeffrey Dean Morgan in it. I loved him in Grey's Anatomy and PS I Love You. He's really cute. How bad can it be?
That phrase, "how bad can it be?", should never be uttered. Because if you're even thinking about how bad it could be, then something is definitely telling you to stay away.
LISTEN TO YOUR INNER VOICE.
Because not everyone has the t-shirt.
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1 YEAR AGO: Nesting
2 YEARS AGO: The Quickest Way To Get Ready For A Nap
3 YEARS AGO: One Stop Shopping