Wednesday, August 05, 2009

How Many Twenty Year Olds Have A Seventy Pound Head?

Forty may be the new twenty, but in my case, my mind may still be twenty years old, but my body is definitely forty. Well, forty-one, since that's how old I actually am. And it seems to be mocking me every day.

Lately, whenever I have an ache, pain, or "issue", I find myself attributing it to being old. Of course, when I voice these concerns out loud, there is always someone older nearby who tells me in not so many words to stop bitching; I'm not old. OK then, why is this happening to me? It just has to be the aging of the 'ol bod.

 For instance, my right elbow has been killing me. Arthritis killing. Inside the bone killing. Since I don't play tennis and I don't do anything that can be remotely considered exercise, I don't know why it hurts. My mother is convinced it's a result of my holding a steering wheel for so many hours a day. Did I mention she was a doctor? Yep. She's also a mechanic.

I also have the neck thing. I call it the "neck thing" because I don't know how to describe it; it's a thing that happens with my neck. I turn my head to the right and I hear a crick, but the sound is inside my head, not outside. Crunching noises. Cartilage crunchy. And only when I turn my head to the right, not left. Add that to the achy thumb on my left hand, and the crick I sometimes get in my hip, and I'm convinced I'm falling apart. My limbs also go numb when I'm sleeping which I want to blame on Ed since he's always pressed up against me, but when I find my own seventy-pound head cutting off the blood to my arm, I can't.

And let's not forget t
he incident last year; my left side still hurts from that. It's old age, right? Longer to heal and all that.

 I shouldn't even be complaining, but that makes up at least forty percent of my personality; I have the lament gene. My step-father, on the other hand, does not. He does an hour on the treadmill every day and he's eighty-seven; I bitch if I have to walk an extra five hundred feet in the heat. He's been healthy as a horse most of his life, but there have been a few health scares. If I were to count those few health scares, you can say he's complained oh, I'd say That's right. I have never heard a peep out of him. EVER.

But then again, he doesn't have a seventy-pound head like I do, so how can he possibly know what it's like to wake up with said head crushing his arm, causing it to go numb? That's right, he can't. Now you tell me who has the real problem.

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Cindy Lou said...

Hi Salena.. don't know what to do about the 70 lb head but my neck does the same thing yours does. I take glucosomine hydrochondroite (don't think I spelled that right)
and if I take it regularly my neck doesn't pop like that. Sometimes I think my head is going to fall off it pops so loud.. Hope this helps

Hedon said...

I never thought about my giant massive head making my arm go dead in the night -- I always blame it on the dog. Maybe she isn't secretly messing with me.

all things bradbury said...

gosh, i've got the elbows and neck thing goin on too, but i've been blamin in on the crappy mattress we've got in this crappy truck!