Thursday, January 14, 2010

Does It Fall Under Some Kind Of Secret Guy Code?

The other day I was explaining to Ed why I was returning the mascara I just got. I'm sure he didn't care, but I told him anyway, sort of like when reads to me from geek magazines. I felt he should know why I was taking it back, since he bought it for me. The reason? It just didn't fulfill its promise.

I originally decided to buy this particular mascara because of the color, blackest blue. I'd been looking for a mascara that had a little bit of navy in it and when I found it in Target, I was thrilled. I wasn't thrilled it cost $17.00, but because it promised to deliver a "unique push-up effect that lifts and coats each lash to thick, curled, voluminous perfection" and "lashes look so luscious they'll look like falsies" with a "carbon-black pigment used to give an intense black hue to lashes," I figured it was well worth the price.

So here I was, babbling to Ed about the mascara, how it went on weird and that I didn't like the brush; how some mascaras are thin and runny while others are thick and goopy; how the brush on the mascara wand makes a big difference, as some are skinny with short bristles and others are fat and football shaped. How I thought I was actually going to see the blue in the blue-blackness of it, but it didn't seem all that blue at all.

Then I stopped mid-sentence and asked, "Do guys have a thing like this - where they go on an endless search for the perfect....I don't know...just the right....the know...thing. The best whatever it is that guys use often? I'm not talking about hair products or cosmetic things, I'm talking about stuff that you are always looking for the best of. Do you have something like that?"


No thought. No consideration. Just no.

"No?" I said. "How do you not have anything? I mean, I have several things that I'm on an endless search for; mascara, the perfect purse, a great fitting bra, just to name a few. I don't care where I go or how much it costs, I'm always looking for these things. Even if I have one a little bit like it already at home. You're telling me guys have nothing??"

It must be a girl thing because I've had endless email conversations with my cousin about mascara, my best friend about toothpaste and my grandmother (before she died) about the perfect handbag. They all search, just like I do. And all of these people actually have an opinion about the items and know the differences, no matter how slight. I don't think I could ever be like the "regular guy" who would just pick out any old mascara because they're all the same, as Ed would say.

I bet most guys could tell me the difference between that Jeep up there and any other car on the road if I were to say, "Eh, they're all the same."

So there. There is a thing.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Over 140 Million Years In The Making
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Gil said...

That's because you are beautiful to us with or without makeup. We pay attention to the women herself. Cars are cars and today they nearly all look alike.

Alliey said...

I read this entry to my husband, just wondering if he would confirm the phenomenon. And he did. This is astounding! I am always on the hunt for at least the basics you mentioned, and generally two or three other things for my kitchen or around the house. Oh, and one thing you left off your list- jeans. What woman isn't always looking for the perfect pair of jeans? How is it that they are looking for NOTHING? Crazy.

The Daily Rant said...

Gil: You are too sweet!

Alliey:'s a guy thing. And yes, jeans are another maddening item to shop for!