Friday, December 16, 2005

Just Call Me Rosa

Today I went to visit the Urgent Care facility at our local hospital. I have had a terrible hacking, dry cough for about a three months now. Usually, I just let whatever it is pass and never go see a doctor. But since I'm visiting with my mother, for the last two weeks I've heard that I could have everything from walking pneumonia to bronchitis to tuberculosis. The only way to get her off my back was to go see someone so they could tell her what I've been telling her for three weeks; that it's nothing and I'll get over it soon.

I arrived at Urgent Care at 11am, and after some back and forth between Triage, the waiting room, the examination room, the discharge desk and the check out area, I was finally out of there at 2pm. Only three hours. Good thing it wasn't "urgent".

For $170 I received a paper bracelet, a prescription for a steroid and a diagnosis of Asthma.

Asthma? Wow. Flippin' shocker.

Uh, dumbshit? I've had asthma since I was 16 years old.

Oh, and because I paid up front, they gave me a 20% discount. The girl told me "If you pay now, you will get a 20% discount, if we bill you, then we add 20%." Wow. What a racket.

Should I have to pay the doctor when they tell me something I already know? I went there for him to diagnose me with something, anything; severe respiratory bronchitis or tuberculosis or whooping cough or at the very least, croup.

But to tell me I have something I already know I have?? I mean, helloooooo, I told you I had asthma on the information sheet I filled out three hours ago when I sat down. You should be paying me $170, since I just made your job that much easier.

I think my money would have been better spent if I just took my $170 and purchased myself a fake ID in New York City. Then I will have them mail the bill to:

Rosa María Muñoz Izquierdo de Gómez
123 Main Street
Anytown, USA

Yeah, that just might work.

1 comment:

Katie said...

I had a similar experience at our local "Urgent Care." But I wasn't the patient, my daughter (who was 11 @ the time) had cut her knee on a license plate (yeah, she is blonde... lol) and had to have stitches. I did not have insurance at that time, so when I called they told me there was a $75 charge for the visit (or something like that, I don't remember). Anyway, when it was all said and done, she had 5 stitches in her knee. We saw the doctor for about a total of 20 minutes. The additional charge upon departure? $340. And, yes, that was with the 20% discount of paying then. For 20 minutes. I wish I made money like that!