Thursday, March 11, 2010

Bonnie And Clyde Meet Toni And Frank

Today when I woke up, I had a text message from my mother asking me to give her a call when I got up. So I did. It didn’t sound urgent so I thought it might just be to give me the latest gossip or to fill me in on whatever boobery (to quote the Hags) was going on in the 'ol homestead. Apparently, there was much boobery.

“Hey Mommy. Whatcha doin’?” I said when she answered the phone.

“Ugh. You wouldn’t even believe.” Exasperation in her voice.

“What??” I said.

“Well, Frank came in the bedroom this morning while I was making the bed and he was looking for his shoes and jacket as if he was going somewhere, so I said to him, ‘What are you doing?’”

He said, “Well, Billy’s coming to pick me up.”

“Why?” my mother said.

“Well, I didn’t want to say anything because you can’t drive, so I’m having him come get me.” he said. My mother has a “boot” on her foot because she broke her ankle, so she hasn’t been able to drive. The broken ankle incident is a whole other story.

“What is he coming to get you for? Where are you going? What’s wrong? Are you having heart palpitations, because if you are, Billy isn’t taking you anywhere. I’ll call 911 and you’ll go right to the hospital.” She was worried because Frank has a habit of not telling anyone when he’s not feeling 100%. Let's just call it Old Stubborn Man syndrome.

“No, no, nothing like that. I just found out yesterday that my license expired, so Billy is taking me to get a new one.”

“Oh,” said my mother, “they didn’t let you know it was expired?”

“No.” he said.

“Well, that’s unusual. I should go check mine too. I have no idea when it's due to be renewed.”

So she went to check her license and found out that hers had also expired. In August.

But that’s not the best part. When she asked Frank when his expired, he hesitated. Then he pulled out the license, looked at it and said, “2008.” Great. So she’s been driving illegally for seven months and he’s been on the lam for almost two years!

What’s next, grocery store holdups??

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Gil said...

In Connecticut they send you a renewal card about six weeks before your license expires. Does AZ send anything? Too much three senior citizens all driving with expired licenses! I better check mine.

Anonymous said...

Saw an article bout u. thought id look at ur page. Very nice. Keep Up the good Work. JOHN FOSS
(darnhec) online everywhere.

all things bradbury said...

your folks just crack me up!