Monday, July 22, 2013

Polly Needs More Than A Cracker. Polly Needs A Roll Cage.

A few months ago we had dinner at a friend's house.  When we arrived, our friend's housemate greeted us at the door with a bird perched on the edge of her eyeglasses.  I mean, sitting right at her temple, on the frame of her glasses.  It was super tiny, maybe two inches tall.  And very cute.

It never left her side.  It would fly away or she'd throw it into the air for fun, but it always swooped back to be near her - on her shoulder, around the back of her neck, in her hair, again on her glasses.  We were told that she had this particular bird longer than any of her husbands.  Well, I can see why - it's small, unobtrusive, doesn't talk back, won't leave socks on the floor or the toilet seat up.  Essentially perfect. 

But then tragedy struck.  I'm not sure of the exact details, but apparently in her sleep she rolled over on the bird and crushed it.  To death.

So just yesterday my friend texted me to say her housemate had a new bird - an African Gray parrot (see photo above) that says "bombs away".  I can't imagine when that phrase might be useful.

"I'm going to teach him how to say 'Fiddlesticks'." my friend texted.

"Is that hard, to teach a parrot?" I replied.

"Some birds can vocalize better than others, and the African Gray is supposed to be the best talker.  We shall see." she texted back.

Then Ed piped up and said to me, "She should teach it how to say, 'Get the fuck off of me.'"

I'm glad I wasn't driving, because I was laughing so hard, I couldn't see.  I could barely text what he said back to my friend.

When I did, she replied with, "Tears are rolling down my face I can hardly breathe I'm laughing so hard. Ed has a VERY funny streak."

That's my Eddie. 

Just when I think he's not listening, he proves me wrong and sums up an entire conversation by injecting the unexpected.

Avian humor.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
2012: Hats Off To Tits And Ass
2011: Approaching Chi-Town
2010: Paneful Outlook
2009: Gray County Silhouette
2008: This Little Piggy Went To Market
2007: I’ve Been Everywhere Sunday
2006: The Heat Bog
2005: Five


Belledog said...

Ed's comment was perfect.

That grey parrot can learn a lot of phrases over a sixty-year lifespan.

june in florida said...

That's an English sense of humor.

all things bradbury said...

omg!....just dang near peed my pants!.....