Wednesday, November 04, 2015

The Message Of The Testicle

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Anyone who has a pair of Bulls Balls (also known as Truck Nuts) on their vehicle, is a moron.

If you have a pair of these on your vehicle, you are a moron.

I honestly don't understand why anyone would want these hanging from something they're seen driving. They are usually seen on pickup trucks, although other vehicles have been known to sport a set. 

What's going through a person's mind as they're attaching these to their vehicle?  Do they honestly think it's funny?  I question their sense of humor if they think it is. I find them distasteful, kinda disgusting, and not at all humorous.

Funny thing is, most of the pickup trucks I've seen with these are being driven by men.  I'd love to hear the reasoning from these guys, as to why they like balls swinging from their trailer hitches. First, they look like old man balls.  Second, they're not bulls balls, they're men's balls. Look in the mirror. Yours look just like that. You do know that, right? 

So why do you want to drive around with a pair of men's balls hanging from your bumper? Do you think it makes you look manly?  Or tough? Because it doesn't. It makes you look like an asshole. They're worse than the peeing Calvin, although you'll often see peeing Calvin on a truck with balls hanging from the back. No surprise there.

What message are you trying to convey by displaying testicles from the bumper of your vehicle?

I understand the coexist stickers (unity), I understand political party stickers (policies and issues you support), I understand an Apple logo (brand loyalty), I understand sports team stickers (enthusiastic devotee),  I understand "My kid is an Honor Roll student" stickers (pride), and I even understand those stupid stick-family stickers.

OK, I don't understand the stupid stick-family stickers - what does that tell people?  That you're fertile?  Whatever.  The point is, the people above are making a statement, sending a message, showing you who they are and what they believe in, or support.

This guy actually sums up the truck nuts subject pretty well, and I love this quote of his:

I’m sure truck nut aficionados would argue that strapping a set of cojones onto a car isn’t a sign of rampant stupidity. However, I would challenge those people to show me a single set of truck nuts in the parking lot of a cancer research center or an Ivy League University or NASA."

So tell me - what does a pair of testicles hanging from your bumper say about you?

Please, enlighten me.

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Gearhead Paradise

2013: Even When It's Cloudy, Ed Is Happy
2012: The Yoopers Little Piece Of Heaven
2011: From Pot Roast At The Buckhorn To Gambling With An Inky Malbec
2010: Nestled In The Fertile Plain
2009: I Think I’m Kinda Lichen This Moss
2008: Holding My Breath
2007: Ahhhh…..Ahhhhh…..Aw Shit!
2006: Contemplating Flight
2005: Eddie Blurred By NyQuil Friday

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