Tuesday, November 29, 2005

And It Begins...

My mother got a new computer. She will not let anyone near it. Today, I had the honor of getting to sit in the new chair and letting my fingers glide over the sleek keyboard. I embraced the flat panel screen with my eyes and listened to the barely discernable hum of the CPU. It was beautiful.

Having a computer of this caliber for my mother is like giving a Formula One race car to a kid who just got his learner's permit.

As I was allowed to browse a few websites to see the sheer rocket power of the machine, my mother stood over me like a Nazi. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere she didn't approve of. I was being watched like a hawk.

I was showing her how Word Verification for blog commenting worked, typing in the letters of the random word, when she suddenly said "NOOOO. DON'T TYPE THAT!!". My fingers weren't fast enough and continued to finish the word. What a mistake that was.

I looked up to see the vein in her head bulging and her jaw clenched just like when I was a kid and I knew that I was in SO. MUCH. TROUBLE. Before the fire spewed out of her eyes and black crows flew from her esophagus, she told me that I would never be allowed to even put as much as the shadow of a finger near her computer again.

Only later did I learn that the reason she was so concerned about Word Verification is because she thought it was the way "they" could get into her computer and see what she was typing, in addition to stealing all of her pertinent information.

See what I mean? Formula One. Learner's permit.


MamaKBear said...

Too funny! LMAO

lime said...

i fire starter AND a world class conniption thrower. winning combo there!

Twisted Cinderella said...

Too funny! Reminds me of Prince Charming trying to explain over the phone to his grandmother how to find something on her sons computer, "Grandma, you have to use the mouse. Thats that thing beside the keyboard, it moves the arrow around. Grandma, you have to click on the start button. Move the mouse. Move it so the arrow goes to the bottom corner, click on the button. No, it won't hurt anything if you click it. I am sure, you won't hurt anything. Trust me, you can click on that button." It went on and on. I laughed until my sides hurt.

alwswrite said...

Ha! It took my Mom years to learn how to use a computer. She still refers to her inbox as "The E-mail."