Friday, December 16, 2011

She Strikes Again

My mother was telling me about a house we used to live in almost thirty years ago, explaining how my step-father "made a mint" when he sold it.

"We bought it for $100,000.00 cash and sold it for $230,000.00 cash. That was a beautiful house." she said.

"Yeah, I loved that place. It was tucked away in the woods. Great property." I said.

"The guy who bought it had just got divorced." she said.

"Why would a guy who just got divorced buy a five bedroom house??" I said.

"I don't know. What do you mean?" she said.

"I'm asking why you think he'd need a five bedroom house if he just got divorced. Did he have a lot of kids or something?" I said.

"I don't know." she said. "He was a professional black man."

"Really? Not an amateur black man?" I said.

"What??" she said, in that confused tone she uses when she doesn't realize what she just said.

"A professional, as opposed to an amateur. You're saying he was a professional black man. Does that mean he was good at being black?" At this point, I'm busting her chops but she still doesn't know it.

"Well, that's what the realtor told me - that he was a professional, not just a regular black guy from the Bronx." she said. Boy, I wonder how the realtor described us.

"Ohhhhh." I said.

Then I had to explain to her what she just said. Of course, once I told her how what she said sounded, she was flustered and sputtered out, "That's not what I meant!"

I know, Mom, I know. But if I didn't let you continue (and egg you on), I'd have nothing to write on my blog, now would I?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The Frozen Tundra
Your Tax Dollars Hard At Work
What’s Next, Reporting Your Maid In The Middle Of Her Dusting The Living Room Tsochkes?
Fashion Forwards
Swimming Po
Just Call Me Rosa


Gil said...

God bless your mother!

Belledog said...

Good morning, Salena. Always up for a post of your mom's wit and/or wisdom.

Putting this in as a PSA, because anyone in northeast Georgia before December 23 should truly go to see this -- it was wonderful:

Highly recommend the Gone with the Wind exhibit in Gadsden, Alabama, which closes on December 23.

Focuses more on the film, which premiered in Atlanta, than on the book's 75th anniversary of publication.

Excellent collection of costumes, Margaret Mitchell artifacts/correspondence, a lot of hand-painted promotional pieces from the Atlanta opening (the four stars' faces; stunning, really), GWTW merchandise -- it was the original movie tie-in. (Perfume, lingerie, sheet music ...) Plus GWTW posters in languages you won't recognize.

Six bucks well spent, and Gadsden's "historic" downtown is cheerily illuminated. Plus a good coffee shop a few blocks away.

Exhibit is apparently two-three major collectors' treasures, and some are going to auction, so you won't see this exhibit again.

Salena: I wish you could see this one, even if you are not a GWTW fan. It's a superb exhibit. And the people at the cultural center are lovely.