Thursday, July 02, 2009

My Mother The Jihadist

My mother does a lot of crafty type stuff; she paints, she sews, she quilts and she also does Redwork.

During the school year my three nephews go to her house often, but since school is now out, they've been spending more afternoons there having lunch and hanging out. Often she will involve them in crafts. Lately they've been doing sewing projects; a throw pillow with a guitar emblem, special felt "envelopes" for their goodies, mending childhood blankets, etc.

So in a recent email my mother told me that the oldest one wants to learn Redwork. She said, "He wants me to teach him to do Redwork on a muslim pillow I cut out for him."

Yes, you read that right. MUSLIM. She meant muslin, but that's my mother for you, screwing up her words. She claims she has "word dyslexia". It happens so often we don't really think it's a mistake anymore, it has to be a condition.

So I emailed her back and said, "Are you going to Iraq to get the pillow? Is it a prayer pillow? Will it make him a Jihadist if he redworks the pillow?

She wrote back that she didn't get it, "What do you mean, is he going to be a Jihadist??" First, I calmed her down, then I explained. Once she got it, she laughed.

Obviously my mother's house is not the location of the next sleeper cell, as there is no knowledgeable leader there. I can see the raid on her craft room now...

"We have reason to believe this is a terrorist training camp, Ma'am."

"No, I swear officer, we were just making pillows."

"Uh huh."

"Really, look - here's my thread, here's the muslim....I mean, muslin! Muslin. Mus-LIN."

"Hmmm. Alright. Looks harmless to me. Let's go guys, nothing to see here, just some grandmother making pillows."

"Oh, thank you so much sir. Thank you!"

"No problem Ma'am. Just doin' our job."

"Oh, I completely understand."

And as he turns to leave, she smiles a sweet grandmotherly smile and holds out her hand. In it, the item she just finished.

for your wife?"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Perfectly Reasonable Defense
Sidewalk Sushi
$4,000 Worth Of Tupperware


Evil Pixie said...

Hahaha! My mum does that sort of stuff all the time. I sometimes think she does it on purpose to see if I'm actually paying attention (which, admittedly, I'm not always). However, the sad thing is it really isn't on purpose.

Gil said...

I would love to have been there to hear you and your Mother go at it! Recently I stop and think about what I might be like if I make it to a much older age. Happy 4th to you and Eddie1 Now we need a picture of your Italian tan.

Hedon said...

LOL! Stace's mom is famous for this and Stace is steadily following in her footsteps. It gets worse every year.