Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Taking The Express To The Heartland

I was in a truck stop in Tulsa, Oklahoma, standing at the counter making Ed a breakfast burrito (yes, he's lucky) when I looked out the kitchen window at the truck parked next to us and saw this:

Now it's not unusual to see a driver lounging in his truck. Sometimes they don't always go into the sleeper, they just rest in the driver's seat watching the activities of wherever they may be.

What was unusual is this:

Yes, those are his toes. A real-live truck driver with his toenails painted bright, sparkly, Dorothy-from-Oz red.

Seriously. So what can possibly be the story behind this? His nails are painted red because that's the color his wife wears and he wants to keep a reminder of her with him always when he's on the road? He has granddaughters and they begged for Poppa to paint his nails, oh please? oh please? oh please? He's a cross-dresser and he's also wearing a garter belt and push-up bra under his clothes? C'mon people, come up with an explanation for me.

He was a mean lookin' fella too, once he turned around. Or I should say, once he turned around, got out of his truck and proceeded to the space between his truck and trailer to take a piss. Ed said, "Are you sure he's going to the bathroom?" I said, "Pretty sure. Unless he's checking his glad hand connections with his penis."

My truck driver friends will be able to figure out the company he drives for from the title of this post (I know you are all that smart!) but what I have to say to the rest of you is...


Corn isn't the only thing you'll find in the Heartland.


* And just so you know, I have absolutely no problem with crossdressers, men who paint their toenails or any other kind of persuasion. I just found humor in finding it in the very unexpected place of the truck next to me.


9 comments:

Anonymous said...

That is hysterical and extremely disturbing at the same time!

Ang

Gil said...

I always said truck drivers get the best view(s)! This one is too much though.

Anonymous said...

Such pretty feet he has...but clearly he's out of the loop! Does he NOT know that Pompeii Purple is the all time summer COLOR??

Very, VERY funny! I mean really, so much so there are NO words!! LMAO

~V

Tony said...

I love this. He totally gets pedicures, because his feet are too well cared for. Notice how trim the nails are and no calluses or even yucky foot-hair.

I have tried to get Tony to have a pedicure with me and am getting close. If he could just see a guy doing it, it would be easier. His feet could use a little pedi-luv!

sheila said...

Oh my.

A bit disturbing, yet a pretty shade of red :)

Gi-Gi Roxx said...

wow. that's all I can say about that. I have no imaginable explanation as to what the deal is with that. But I'm hoping that it's the theory of grandbabies in need of a doodle space!

(by the way my captcha word is "maters"... like red 'maters fresh out the garden!)

Karen said...

Ok dear, what is the explanation? Seems he didn't have a care in the world with you taking a picture of those pretty...ugly feet!! LOL

all things bradbury said...

awww...come on guys.....who knows what lurks under all those sneakers and vacation socks....hidden under all those harley boots......those lace up work and hiking boots......

gabsatrucker said...

Now I'm going to have to paint my toenails tonight--this guy's feet looks better than mine, lol....