Thursday, February 25, 2010

Why Play Fantasy Football When You Can Spend Your Time Making Lists For The Halle Experiment?

My friend Charlie e-mailed this week and brought up a topic that I've spent many hours discussing with my friends; the fantasty boyfriend. (Or girlfriend, in his case)

Apparenly, he and his buddy have a running argument they call "The Halle Berry Experiment". His friend determined that if your long term fantasy girl becomes available, your marriage vows should be temporarily suspended. His friend's wife naturally disagrees. Charlie said the conversation came up because they saw Halle at LAX and decided she was the hottest 42 year old mother ever seen in a sweatsuit without makeup. I emailed him back to tell him that I too, saw Halle Berry in Los Angeles; about ten years ago when I worked for
The Century Plaza Hotel.

I was at the Century City Shopping Center when I saw a woman that stopped me dead in my tracks; I think my mouth even might have dropped open a little. It took a few seconds for it to register, but all of a sudden it hit me. Oh my God! That's Halle Berry! I didn't want her to see me gawking, so I quickly turned but circled back around for another look. She was shoe shopping with a friend, looking through the window of the shop before going in; I then waited just outside for her to come back out so I could see her again. Another time, I saw her at an intersection on Santa Monica Boulevard while I was waiting for the light to change. It was near my apartment in West Hollywood and all I could think was, Halle Berry lives in my neighborhood! (OK, not my neighborhood, but close) And if Charlie and his buddy think Halle is hot now, at 42 years old, they should have seen her then. Oh. My. GOD.

OK, so enough about my star sighting, on to Charlie's friend's rules regarding the meeting of their fantasy woman:

1. You must declare you fantasy interest at least one year in advance.

2. It cannot be anyone you know or who you are likely to meet (like the hot neighbor).

3. Your fling can last no more than 72 hours, at which point you go back to your spouse or leave to be with your fantasy forever.

4. If you leave forever, your spouse will be understanding and encouraging.

5. You can invoke the rule no more than once per five year period.

Then he mentioned that his friend is also the man who said to his wife, "I'm a man. My job is to get in her panties. You're my wife. Your job is to stop me". Then he told Charlie, "If some guy offers you a $1M indecent proposal, take it! Get cash up front before he realizes you have $300 stuff."

I read this email to Ed and afterwards told him, "Baby...if anyone offers you a million dollars to have sex with me, I give you permission to take it. And you shouldn't feel guilty or think about me having sex with another guy. Think about the million dollars."

He said, "Have you seen Salena for a million dot com?"

"Salena for a million dot com? What's that?" I said.

"My website."

Apparently there is no need to ease Ed's guilt. He's got it all figured out.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I Hope There Isn’t Going To Be A Quiz
Sunglasses Required
Golden Eye
Making A List And Checking It Twice

1 comment:

Lipstick Trucker said...

If you were to ask Joe who I would leave him for, he would say Sam Elliott. lol