Monday, October 26, 2015

How To Get On The Do Not Call List

My mother, like most people, gets her fair share of telemarketing calls. Lucky for her, half the time she can't hear what they're saying. Or, if they call during her shows, she doesn't answer, letting the machine pick up instead.

But recently, at different times during the day, she's answered the phone and kept getting a woman telemarketer on the other end who asks for Barbara. The call always goes the same way.

"Hello, Barbara?" the telemarketer starts off, with that friendly-I'm-acting-like-I-know-you voice.

"No, I'm sorry, you have the wrong number." my mother says, and hangs up.

She called again. "Hello, Barbara?"

"No, you have the wrong number." My mother hung up.

She called again and again and again.

The most recent call came this week. 

"Hello, Barbara?" she said.

"No, this isn't Barbara." my mother said.

"Oh. Well, while I have you on the phone..." the woman said, and went into her spiel, telling my mother about whatever it was she was selling.

My mother stopped her and said, "This is the fifth time you've called me, even though I told you to take me off your call list. You know this isn't Barbara." 

The woman was silent. 

"Not only did you call me again, you keep calling me Barbara. I am not Barbara. You know it and I know it, and calling here asking for someone else only to rattle off your script makes you a liar. So not only are you annoying me, you're also a liar. And I don't want you to call here again."

And she hung up.

The guys who were painting her house stopped mid-brush stroke and just stared at her. They've known her a long time and have done work in the house before so felt free to express their thoughts. And they thought what she did was great. She blamed it on being tired, hungry, and irritable. They said, "Everyone should do that."

I say she had a lot of shit built up and that was just the day she lost it.



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2014: Gazing At The Stargazers

2013: Oh, How We Love Our La-Z-Boys
2012: The Road To Luminosity
2011:
Old School Meets New School
2010: There For The Climbing…If You’re So Inclined
2009: I Need A Thing That Ain’t No Big Thing
2008: Race To The Head
2007: Eddie Fresh From A Nap Friday
2006: Forever Yours
2005: Blur