Saturday, October 15, 2016

Is Purse Anxiety In The DSM?

Some girls like shoes.  Collect them.  Can never have enough pairs.  
With me, it's purses.  From an early age I've had a thing for purses.  I think I get it from my maternal grandmother, who was always on the hunt for the right bag.  It's a bit of an obsession.  From cheap to expensive, leather to pleather, parachute material to canvas.  I've had them all.  

Pockets, strap length, weight, color, material - all factors to finding just the right bag. You'd think narrowing it down would be easy.  Oh, no.  

Right now I'm carrying two - a black Kipling tote sorta like this one, and a blue lightweight faux leather crossbody bag that I pilfered from my mother.  Since I'm home so much now, I've recently started only carrying the essentials with me when I'm running around town - wallet, phone, fan, gum, pen, paper.  But if I'm going more than 10 miles from my house, the big one comes with me.

What I've realized, is that I have purse anxiety.  I must have my stuff with me.  I don't have the ability to decide which things are not as important as others. I want it all.  What if I need aspirin?  Or a bandaid?  Or duct tape?  I'm sure the weight of the purse is going to give me shoulder problems.  I probably walk lopsided as it is, favoring the shoulder that's shouldering all the weight.  And God forbid I ask Ed to get something out of my purse.  The look of horror on his face says it all.

When I went through my bag and laid out everything I carry with me, I didn't think it seemed like a lot.  The selection seems reasonable, doesn't it?  And necessary.  OK, maybe I don't need an extra expandable tote bag when I'm carrying a tote bag, but what if I go shopping and buy stuff that I need another bag for?  Like at the Farmer's Market?  I can't put peaches and strawberries in my actual purse.

I see people, mostly celebrities, running around town with just their keys and a cell phone in their hand.  


What the hell is that all about?  


What if they need something?  What if...

I don't know how they do it.  My chest is constricting just thinking about it.

Below is what I carry on a regular basis. Some things aren't shown, like tissues, or the extra grocery bags I tuck into small spaces.  Unless extreme circumstances require me to carry a small bag - like at a cocktail party, or a wedding - I almost always have all of this with me.  Sometimes more, if I'm toting around books, magazines, or my iPad.

Don't judge.

 1.  Hairspray
 2.  Tylenol
 3.  Expandable Tote Bag
 4.  Zippered bag currently being used as my wallet (money, credit cards, bills, receipts, pocket knife, etc.)
 5.  Zippered cosmetic bag (I carry enough with me to do the makeup for a drag queen stage show)
 6.  Silver zippered bag with small personal items (tampons, hand sanitizer, hand cream, bobby pins, hair ties, dental floss, antacids)
 7.  Mesh bag for change
 8.  Extra pair of silver hoops just in case I forget to wear earrings when I leave the house
 9.  Small spiral notepad and small pack of Thank You notes
10.  Post-It Notes
11.  My point-and-shoot camera that goes everywhere with me
12.  Sunglasses
13.  Paper clips and metal binder clips
14.  Extra keys to my mother's townhouse
15.  Chocolate Velamints - it's been YEARS since I've had these and recently found them at Cracker Barrel
16.  Sony earbuds
17.  Nature Valley Granola Bar
18.  Red pen, black pen, highlighter, mechanical pencil, etc.
19.  Zippered bag (gift from Marlaina, bought in Bangkok) containing Splenda
20.  Reading glasses
21.  Wet Ones bacterial wipes (I also carry baby wipes in a Ziploc bag)
22.  Mini ziploc bag with stamps, duct tape strips, misc papers and business cards collected along the way
23.  Mini ziploc bag with bandaids
24.  Hair band
25.  Gum - I usually have several kinds                

26.  Business Cards
27.  House and pickup keys.  My big rig keys are not shown.

28.  My fan.  This one is a gift from Marlaina that she purchased in Hong Kong.  I never go anywhere without.  If I had to choose between my camera and my fan, the fan would win. And since it's so big, I usually have a purse it'll fit in.  It's essential and when I'm hot, as it can be the difference between me being just bitchy or downright homicidal.

Maybe what I really need is anti-anxiety medication.  I certainly have room to carry it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Apple Crisp And Friends

2014: Where The Food Is Delicious And The Service Is World Class
2013: Something To Look Forward To
2012: Two More For You, Mr. President!
2011: A Thing About Things
2010: Americans Among Us
2009: Next Time I’m Buying Him Carbon Paper And White Out. And A Roll Of Stamps. And Maybe A VHS Player.
2008: Flash Flood
2007: Consider The Source When Getting Advice
2006: Perfectly Apropos For Bush’s Home State
2005: Soul 2 Soul


MIck said...

Once again, fabulous article which made me smile all the way through. When Ali asks me to get something from her bag I must have the same expression on my face!

Marlaina said...

ACK!!!!! You're putting SUGAR in the little bag I gave you. You're killing me. LOL. (Notice correct usage of "you are".)