Inside The Trucker's Studio

Have you ever watched Inside The Actors Studio with James Lipton, where he sits down and interviews celebrities one on one? It's fabulous. He always asks the actors the same ten questions. I've often thought, what if James Lipton were to interview me? What would my answers to his ten questions be?

You can stop holding your breath now - my answers are right comin' right up. The questions really seem to require a one word answer, but I'm not good at being brief, so in most cases I've given more than one. If you want to pretend I gave just one, use the first answer I listed.

1. What is your favorite word?
Right now I can only think of delicious and funicular. I'm sure there are more...I'll be back.

2. What is your least favorite word?
Bipartisan - because it's bullshit. But I also hate the following words and phrases: staycation, my bad, outside the box, on the same page...

3. What turns you on?
Creativity. But after that, intelligence, witty banter, mental stimulation, clothing design, books....oh, so many things.

4. What turns you off?
Poor spelling and grammar - drives me NUTS. Smoking. And in the last few years, I've noticed that smells bother me. Ed calls me a bloodhound, I can smell anything, anywhere. I find there are a lot of smells I dislike; tuna, onions, crude oil, dirt, wet dog, grease, strong perfume, burlap, sour dairy, lavender, sage.

5. What sound or noise do you love?
My first choice would be silence, but after that, I love the sound of a fierce thunder storm with torrential rain.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Women with little girl voices. Screaming children. Snot sucking in public. People who scrape their fork against their teeth to pull food off - it's not just improper etiquette, it makes my teeth hurt. And I also hate the constant sound of a television.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Lawyer. I'd also like to try my hand at cheesemaking. I know, weird, right?

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Anything that requires physical work in hot conditions. Anything repetitive like a factory. Or working in retail - I did it at nineteen years old, but at my age now, I couldn't bear the idiots. And there are a LOT of them.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "Oh, thank me. You're finally here. All of your friends kept asking when you were coming and now I don't have to listen to them hounding me a thousand times a day."


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1 YEAR AGO: The Next Project
2 YEARS AGO: Why Would You Want To Be A Zero When Looking Like This Is Clearly A Plus?
3 YEARS AGO: The Giant Dirty Bird Goes Sailing In The Four Corners
4 YEARS AGO: Soft Core Porn
5 YEARS AGO: Almost Fully Integrated
6 YEARS AGO: Downtown Scenery And Deals