Tuesday, June 19, 2012

She's Political Coming And Going And Doesn't Even Know It

I talk to my mother at least once a day, either I call her or she calls me. Today, I called her.

“So, what did you do today?” I said.

“I went to the bank, then had to fit in an echocardiogram.” she said.

“Oh? How'd that go?” I asked.

“Oh, absolutely fine. I was just a little short of breath, and when I told my doctor, he ordered it for me.” she said.

Then, “I love my new hair cut.”

“Oh yeah? Your boy cut?” I said, eluding to the family joke my nephews started about Nana getting a “boy’s haircut” because she likes to keep it so short.

“It's so easy. And it’s been so fucking hot, when I come home I just jump in the shower, get out, run my fingers through my hair, bloop-bloop, and it's done."

I turned to Ed and said, "Mommy got a boy haircut."

“Oh yeah?” he said, “She’s going to have to tell the boys about it.”

“She already called Joey and told him.” I said, relaying the information that she called the nephew who started the whole “boy’s haircut” thing.

“What'd he say?” he said.

“He just laughed at her.” I said. “You know, in his little raspy voice.”

“Yeah, and now…” my mother’s voice was in my ear again, "I look like that guy that Ed said.”

“What guy?” I said.

“That guy - I don't know - Ed said I looked like him the night we all went to that steakhouse.” she said.

“Oh yeeaah. Ed, who's that comedian-turned-politician guy?” I turned and asked him.

"Oh, Al Franken." he said.

“Right, right." I laughed. "Al Franken, Mom. That's who it is."

“Is he the one Frank hated?" she asked.

"Probably. He's a Democrat." I said, remembering my step-father’s political views.

"Is he the gay one?" she said.

"No, that's Barney Frank."

"Oh, yeah. That's the one Frank didn't like. He’d be yelling at the TV screen every time he was on." she said.

"Well, you could look like Barney Frank too - he's short and chubby. But in the face, you look more like Al Franken."

Then Ed said, "But she kinda looks like Barney Frank from behind."

I was laughing so hard, I couldn't get the words out, while my mother was saying, "What? What?? What is he saying?"

I finally said, “Ed said you kinda look like Barney Frank from behind, because he’s short and chubby too.”

She burst out laughing at this.

Oddly, my mother loves to be picked on by us (kids, grandkids, doesn't matter). Thankfully, she provides us with endless opportunities to goof on her.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Old As She Was, She Still Missed Her Daddy Sometimes
2010: Crafty Little Bugger
2009: Beauty For A Buck
2008: What My Thoughts Sound Like When Left Uncensored And Ultimately, Formed Into Words
2007: New York Style
2006: I.H.O.P.G.
2005: Sorry, no post on this day.

1 comment:

Gil said...

Love these Mother updates! You have your own comedy show...