Wednesday, July 03, 2013

A Face Only A Mother Sniffer Can Love

I don't even know where to start.
I suppose it's best for us to all be on the same page, so why don't you read the story first?

Go ahead, I'll wait.

OK.  Up to date?

So, yeah, sniffing.  Not cool.

This story doesn't indicate that the guy was/is a pedophile, and although I'm not sure I'd be thrilled with him chit-chatting with my kid, unless the tattoo is on his penis, I'm pretty sure it's not illegal to ask someone if they're interested in seeing it.  The tattoo, not the penis.

I've gotta say, it's probably the best mugshot I've seen in a looooong time, but I have a few more comments.  As if you weren't expecting more.  C'mon people.

So seriously, since when is it illegal to sniff people?  I sniff people all the time.  Sometimes against my will, but usually it's done intentionally, I'm not shy about getting close to someone I think smells delicious.  Whether a person smells like cake, lemon zest, or Drakkar Noir - a scent that sends my flying back to the eighties - I sniff.

The next thing I can't seem to wrap my head around is this:  How is it that he outran a soccer coach?  The coach even tackled him but he got free.  How does a 425-pound man get up and get away so fast?   Unless his body belies what his head implies, I can't imagine him outrunning a three-toed sloth let alone a soccer coach.

And finally, he hid behind a tree?  I can't hide behind a tree.  Where the hell were these kids playing soccer?  Among the sequoias?

If I were a kid, I'd probably be petrified to have this behemoth approach me, but based on just what I read in the story, something doesn't smell right.  He struck a plea deal, but still received a 32-month prison sentence for "false imprisonment" because he grabbed the kid's arm.  I can't believe that's really all there is to it.

He very well may have been up to no good, and I'm in no way supporting any kind of endangerment of a child, but I find the headline, the photo and the reported events of the story to be extremely amusing.

To his credit though, with that close-cut hairstyle and neat facial hair, he's very well groomed for a serial sniffer.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
2012: Rolling In The Deep
2011: A Castle On A Bluff
2010: The Skies Really Are Friendly, No Matter Who Is Flying In Them
2009: Eddie Beach Feet Friday
2008: Panoramic
2007: My New Motto
2006: Fake It Till You Make It
2005: Feria Colour Strands


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh, very funny.
Love you.

MAE said... are very amusing...funny story ya...