Monday, June 05, 2006

Sixty Percent Lesbian

As you know, I have been staying with a friend of mine for the past four days.

A girl. Friend.

A girl who happens to be a lesbian.

A lesbian-who-just-broke-up-with-her-girlfriend kind of lesbian.

Where is all of this going?

Well, today she informed me that I am sixty-percent lesbian. How she came up with that percentage I can only guess. She's already told me that I make a great wife. I have been cooking, leaving her notes in the morning for her to remember to take leftovers for lunch and even found it in my heart to accept the other woman in her life; her Rottweiler, Trace Jeanell.

Don't worry, I'm not crossing to the other side; that's all I need in addition to all the other shit my mind has been going through lately. I've already told her I can't handle being hit on by a woman right now, especially when my boyfriend is sooooo far away.

And yesterday, after we went tanning, I was planning on getting my hair cut a little shorter than it already is, but then she told me that if I did, I would be in the seventy-fifth percentile.

I guess I'll wait on that haircut and concentrate more on the hot guy who was cutting the neighbor's lawn yesterday.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I always thought you were just a fag hag when you would go out with Alan and I but now I know. YOUR A LESBO!!!
Good for you, your card is in the mail.