I have a cousin who is one of those people who call the 800 numbers dedicated to customer satisfaction; the ones printed on the backs of boxes, on tubes of toothpaste or bottles of shampoo that say, "If you aren't completely satisfied with this product, call 1-800-123-4567"
Well, when she isn't, she dials.
The most recent call was made to Scott Tissue - about toilet paper. That's right, toilet paper. The current package she bought had several rolls that were shredded part way through the roll. You'd be pulling it off the roll and all of a sudden, bam! big shreddy hole in the paper, resulting in paper dust all over the bathroom and a handful of toilet paper scraps.
So, she called the line. Not only did they take her complaint with complete professionalism and didn't laugh, as I was in the background, but they sent her $13.50 in coupons. For TOILET PAPER.
The next on her hit list is Fructis Shampoo - the product "irritated" her boyfriends scalp, so she wants her money back.
And she'll 1-800-GET IT.