Saturday, March 09, 2013

Need I Say More?

I was on my way to Miami this week and passed this sign on I-75 in Georgia.

The club is located in Byron, GA - ironically at the same exit, and just on the other side of the interstate from Warner Robins, the city that banned trucks from parking within their city limits because Councilman Mike Brashear and his cohorts thought truckers parking in an abandoned Winn-Dixie lot were an "eyesore and created problems".

That's a problem in itself, the trucking ban thing (which was actually lifted less than two weeks later) and has nothing to do with the stripper sign, but I find it laughable that a place that won't let tired truckers park in their city, doesn't mind that there are numerous billboards advertising strippers at the very same exit they share with a neighboring town. 

Ed despises these types of signs - the ones that advertise strip clubs, Asian Spas, massage parlors, sex toy megastores - specifically because they often target truckers.  It's not uncommon to see the words  "Truck Parking Available" and "Truckers Welcome" and "Trucker's Special" somewhere on the sign.  He also always points out that no one is getting a massage at an Asian "spa" at three in the morning.  He's insulted by the insinuation of these places being in business to service the trucking community.

What I find amusing, is that almost all of these billboards are present in the bibliest of bible towns, littering the highways in conservative states like tobacco spit.  Oh sure, you'll find them in big cities but honestly there aren't as many.  They have real products to advertise to their residents; like beer, cars, jewelry and Lotto.  

But on long stretches of highways through the South?  Or geez, in Missouri?  Tons of billboards advertising naked or nearly naked women.   And before and after these billboards, you'll often find another billboard spewing a bible quote or something to do with Jesus - with "Jesus" being in gigantic letters, of course.  I guess that's their way of countering the "filth" in the area.  Gee, if you wanted to get rid of the riffraff, wouldn't it have just been easier to ban truckers like Warner Robins tried to do?

But it's not truckers keeping these places in business.  We've passed hundreds of these establishments thousands of times and I'll tell you right now, the parking lot isn't packed with big rigs.  So who in these two-churches-every-three-miles towns are going to strip clubs?  It's gotta be the locals, right?  Doesn't really matter though, does it?  The people who live there know. 

What would be nice is if they had parking for us in places where it matters.  If they didn't close rest areas.  If they didn't keep us out of Walmart - where in the middle of the night, there's usually acres of parking.  If they didn't ban us from malls, and movie theaters, and cities where we spend money.  If they didn't chain up empty lots and abandoned grocery stores.  If they didn't make it difficult for us to stop to rest or sleep in locations where we NEED parking to stop and rest.  They should have billboards directing us to those places.

Because if we really want to go to a strip club, any trucker worth his salt can figure out how to navigate the parking lot. 

And don't you worry, we'll leave room for the guys from the local church congregation to park right beside us. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
2012: Despite The Name, This Might Not Be Your Place If You’re Truly Bashful
2011: Then Someone Lit The Flame And Plain Rode Away On Lion’s Mane
2010: It Once Had A Life
2009: Life’s A Planet Beach
2008: I Wasn’t Even Fishing, But I Certainly Got A Great Catch
2007: Royal Air Force Typhoon Blows Into Nellis
2006: This Dandelion Needs Rogaine
2005: Sorry, no post on this day. The blog didn’t start until May 2005!


Marlaina said...

Amen! There's nothing else to say. This is an insightful, incisive and eloquent post. Ed's right. It is insulting.

Dave Sanderson said...

Same here!
Besides there are still lot lizards that will come to the trucks if you park at any rest area in Michigan or truckstop that will let them. How places like these are still in business I cannot figure out.

ADK Massage Girl said...

Great post! I'm a LMT and my boyfriend used to drive all over the North East for his job, spending hours on the road and often sleeping in the truck and I know how bad it made his back and leg muscles. I often thought how useful it would be to have massage therapy available to truckers I can't figure how to do it without getting stuck in the stereotype. Massage Therapists constantly have to fight the image of the "masseuse" and "massage parlour" especially since society still supports shows like "The Client List". I'm happy to hear that some truckers also despise these stereotypes!

Anonymous said...

Excellent summation. I did the long haul for a number of years and felt the same way.

It was in Mississippi I heard the line about the Three Great Truths of Religion:

"Jews don't recognize the Messiah.
Protestants don't recognize the Pope.
Baptists don't recognize one another in a liquor store."


The Daily Rant said...

MARLAINA: Why thank you!

DAVE: I can't figure it out either, but I guess people have money to spend. Although, I'm certain I can find a better way to throw away money.

ADK: Ugh - us truckers could definitely use a massage! My friend Marlaian (above) goes on a "wellness tour" every year to Asia and when they are there (usually for 6 weeks), the massages are so cheap, they're getting several weekly! I'm so jealous! But it's true about the stereotype of LMTs - and I don't think that thought is exclusive to our industry, but it's certainly what people think when they see the signs. I wish we had some legitimate places for people to go. I say if they were actually IN the truckstops, like they have other businesses (barbers, dentists, etc.) set up, it might go over better.

METRO: LOVE the Three Great Truths of Religion. I agree.